The 7 Most Unexpected Times Janet Jackson Made Us Worship Her

[janet.1814]

Like a moth to the flame, burned by the J.Lo, our love for Janet Damita Jo Jackson is blind, can’t you see our desire?

In anticipation of her new album, we decided to delve deep into Baby Miss Jackson Privacy Control’s video vault. But since her videography only comes in three modes: iconic, more iconic or MOST ICONIC, we’re shining the spotlight on seven of her lesser-known but unbelievably essential video triumphs. Alright!

 

1.) “Dream Street”

Sure, this Debbie Allen-lensed, Fame-approved clip is only one or two production values above a Kids Incorporated number. Luckily, Janet’s smile and her red-leather stair dance are the only special effects she needs. Cleo Hewitt, you’re gonna make it.

THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “Janet and her signature ‘shoulder dance.’ LOL”

 

2.) “Go Deep”

As quintessentially 1990s as Janet’s chunky red highlights or the glow-button touch-tone phone on which our hero orders his pizza, this video is one of the best from the shakin’ up suburbia school. Plus, the premise is universal: Who wouldn’t hate to wake up seconds before a covered-in-suds Janet slithers atop you?

THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “They are messing up that kids house on purpose ITS TIME TO WHOOP-ASS”

 

3.) “What’s It Gonna Be?!”

From the aptly named director Hype Williams comes this semi-controversial clip that brings to mind this andthat. Busta’s great and all, but let’s be real: Janet steals this song while looking foooiinne, serving upCenobite realness.

THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “fapity fapfap”

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"MINNEAPOLIS!"

 

4. “Runaway”

Like an aerobicized lemming of desire, Janet hurls herself off various global landmarks, sustaining nary a scratch due to the computer animation prowess of Miss Zuniga’s fifth-grade class. So the execution is cheap, the concept’s thin but there’s something so magnetic about Janet that by the time she flubs a note and then mentions it, you’re ready for her to throw that Jack Russell terrier aside once more and do it all over again.

THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “everytime i fly i look out the window of the plane looking for janet on the wing.”

 

5. “2300 Jackson Street”

Okay, first of all: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? (No T, no shade: Rebbie’s gotta eat, okurr?) But even though somebody forgot to write a melody…or a chorus…or an actual song, there’s no denying that this video proves what prophets have been saying for centuries: Even in white jeans, Janet can still slay a house — or the shack at 2300 Jackson Street — DOWN.

THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “Where the fuck is LaToya????”

 

6.) “Feedback”

While this seXXXy jam may have flopped, it was only because the world wasn’t ready to face the fact that it was “as heavy as a first-day period.” (Are you there God? It’s me, Janet.) Because this is the ultimate Janet—nay, Jackson—video: After straddling, then destroying several worlds, she writhes around rhythmically until the frenzied fabric of reality itself literally shoots its white hot love in appreciation.

THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “A wild Janet appears in a red catsuit…99,999 HP DAMAGE ON ALL OTHER BITCHES”

 

7.) “Poetic Justice”

The only comfort we’ll have when dear Janet roars her last roar is that this clip, in its entirety, will replace the Oscars and serve as our new national anthem. #aintnoacidinthishouseandthehomeofthebrave

THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “so that woman ate janets punani?”

Get an eyeful of even more pop music coverage, from artist interviews to exclusive performances, on Idolator’s YouTube channel.

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