Having sex with someone that is not single...

[Reyna ♔]

its not that I dont see you, I see you boo, and its not that I disagree, its that I think the whole picture hasn't been explored from a scientific perspective to understand this behavior so people know whats really going on, cause if you watch the news its would seem we some damn freaks, teachers fucking students and all kinda shit going off

I can definitely see your point. I agree, I do think it needs to be taken more seriously as a whole. I just don't think we should excuse it all as a psychological problem in everyone. For more people than we realize? That's very likely. Be it addiction or repression? Highly possible. The majority, though, seem to either be misinformed or just don't care about the consequences. It all still needs to be closely looked into, though. You're right.

[Bailey]

I can definitely see your point. I agree, I do think it needs to be taken more seriously as a whole. I just don't think we should excuse it all as a psychological problem in everyone. For more people than we realize? That's very likely. Be it addiction or repression? Highly possible. The majority, though, seem to either be misinformed or just don't care about the consequences. It all still needs to be closely looked into, though. You're right.

See and its like reading the post above this one the poster absolves himself of any responsibility what so ever, and some folks will argue that side hard...

[Reyna ♔]

See and its like reading the post above this one the poster absolves himself of any responsibility what so ever, and some folks will argue that side hard...

Disappointing and irritating. If you know better, you don't have to contribute to the problem. Prime example of someone not caring and just doing whatever pleases them.

[EphraimAdamz]

And no one's saying to go out and actively be a home wrecker.  I'm just saying these are grown men and women. If I'm single I don't have time to babysit people who are certainly capable of knowing wrong from right. If you got a man or girl and you wanna sleep around well you do that, but own up to your actions when you get caught or when shit hits the fan. Don't point fingers, blame yourself.

[Reyna ♔]

And no one's saying to go out and actively be a home wrecker.  I'm just saying these are grown men and women. If I'm single I don't have time to babysit people who are certainly capable of knowing wrong from right. If you got a man or girl and you wanna sleep around well you do that, but own up to your actions when you get caught or when shit hits the fan. Don't point fingers, blame yourself.

If they lie to you about being in a relationship then that's on them and you're in the clear. If they admit it, why pursue it? Turn them down and move on. No need to contribute to their issues. Let them work it out on their own.

[EphraimAdamz]

If they lie to you about being in a relationship then that's on them and you're in the clear. If they admit it, why pursue it? Turn them down and move on. No need to contribute to their issues. Let them work it out on their own.

You tell me you're on a diet. McDonalds is bad you.

 

One day you ask me if I'm gonna finish my Big Mac.

 

I say sure, you can have the rest.

 

The next day you gained 5 pounds.

 

-----------

 

My responsibility or yours?

[Reyna ♔]

You tell me you're on a diet. McDonalds is bad you.

You ask me if I'm gonna finish my Big Mac.

I say sure, you can have the rest.

My responsibility or yours?

Both, because I have no business eating it and you know ahead of time that I shouldn't. Is most of the responsibility on me? Yes. But you also share some blame for enabling me. A "no" and walking away from you is enough to clear that situation up. If get McDonald's myself then it's just my problem to bear. You don't have to knowingly take part in my wrongdoing. We both know better.

[EphraimAdamz]

Both, because I have no business eating it and you know ahead of time that I shouldn't. Is most of the responsibility on me? Yes. But you also share some blame for enabling me. A "no" and walking away from you is enough to clear that situation up. If get McDonald's myself then it's just my problem to bear. You don't have to knowingly take part in my wrongdoing. We both know better.

 

 

Maybe but at the end of the day I just feel like you made a conscious decision/choice to over ride you're diet with McDonalds. And that should account for something... maybe you should think about why you did that or feel that way.

 

Meanwhile you can't blame everyone else for sharing fries.

[EphraimAdamz]

 

[bu.]

If they are in a relationship that's on them.

 

I'm single so I can sleep with whoever I want, whether they are taken or not taken. It's not my job to look after them.

 

If you know you're in a relationship then it's not my duty to slap you on the hand and say "hey stop sucking my dick! aren't you dating someone?!".

 

Answer: Single people sleep with whoever. It's the taken people who need to own up to their own actions. People always wanna point the blame.

 

"Stop texting my wife!".... when it should be "I'm single, how about why is your wife texting me?"

 

 Why did this response turn me on?

 

 

Anyway, I get what you're saying. But if we applied that logic to other situations would you still say that? For example selling a drink to an alcoholic? Or giving a druggie some drugs? Shouldn't the enabler hold some responsibility?

[Reyna ♔]

Maybe but at the end of the day I just feel like you made a conscious decision/choice to over ride you're diet with McDonalds. And that should account for something... maybe you should think about why you did that or feel that way.

 

Meanwhile you can't blame everyone else for sharing fries.

 

Yes, I did, and it's my problem. You shouldn't be contributing to it. By giving me the food, you're enabling me when you can simply turn me down and move on. You are part of the problem at that point, not the solution.

[Rock & Roll Hall of Game]

Yes, I did, and it's my problem. You shouldn't be contributing to it. By giving me the food, you're enabling me when you can simply turn me down and move on. You are part of the problem at that point, not the solution.

It's not like you don't go home and eat 2 tubs of ice cream while watching OWN (the example)

I don't think its the 3rd person's fault.. They just want his her her nut off.

I agree ( ) with Effrem to some extent.

[Rock & Roll Hall of Game]

Why did this response turn me on?

 

Anyway, I get what you're saying. But if we applied that logic to other situations would you still say that? For example selling a drink to an alcoholic? Or giving a druggie some drugs? Shouldn't the enabler hold some responsibility?

No.. If that were the case, the enabler is every bartender in the world and they're just trying to work for whatever reason they desire

I think the responsiblity needs to focus mainly on the partner that cheated and some innocent John/Jane Doe.. Yes Jane knew John was married but Jane didn't pursue John.. Jane is just horny

[Aquaria]

I agree with Effy and Game ()

It's on the cheating partner. Is it icky for the single person to do? Yes but it's not their responsibility.

However, if you are hooking up regularly with a taken person and you're the side ho and you're expecting an eventual relationship out of that, that's a different thing

[Reyna ♔]

It's not like you don't go home and eat 2 tubs of ice cream while watching OWN (the example)

I don't think its the 3rd person's fault.. They just want his her her nut off.

I agree ( ) with Effrem to some extent.

 

Like I said, if I continue without you then it's my own problem.

 

If you contribute to it, knowing my problem then you share some of the blame. Not most, but part of it. It's encouraging the cheater to keep going and helping to disrespect their partner at the same time. "No" and leave. That's all it takes.

[Reyna ♔]

I agree with Effy and Game ( )

It's on the cheating partner. Is it icky for the single person to do? Yes but it's not their responsibility.

However, if you are hooking up regularly with a taken person and you're the side ho and you're expecting an eventual relationship out of that, that's a different thing

 

How is it not partly their responsibility? Again, "No" and leave. There's nothing else to do. You don't have to become a part of their mess and doing so you share some amount of responsibility because you know better. 

[Rock & Roll Hall of Game]

Like I said, if I continue without you then it's my own problem.

If you contribute to it, knowing my problem then you share some of the blame. Not most, but part of it. It's encouraging the cheater to keep going and helping to disrespect their partner at the same time. "No" and leave. That's all it takes.

Some of the blame but not the majority of it.. 75/25..

"It's not my fault you want my half-eaten burger.. I was just going to throw it away anyhow.. I don't want to rude and say no.. What if she thinks I'm calling her fat" woukd be the thoughts of some people who have friends/partners on diets

[Rock & Roll Hall of Game]

How is it not partly their responsibility? Again, "No" and leave. There's nothing else to do. You don't have to become a part of their mess and doing so you share some amount of responsibility because you know better.

The only way to be apart of their mess is to literally be apart of their mess. Single people can choose not to be apart of their mess by staying out.

Wam bam thank you m'am/Sir.. Nothing else

Now if the single person is trying to replace the cheater's partner.. Thats a different story

[Reyna ♔]

Some of the blame but not the majority of it.. 75/25..

"It's not my fault you want my half-eaten burger.. I was just going to throw it away anyhow.. I don't want to rude and say no.. What if she thinks I'm calling her fat" woukd be the thoughts of some people who have friends/partners on diets

I said some, so where's your point?

Uhm, no. If I tell you I'm on a diet, ask you for a burger, and you say "no". No-one's reasonable thought is that you're calling me fat. The reasonable thought would be to think maybe you saying "no" is because of my diet.

Same here in this situation. If I tell you I'm in a relationship, ask you for sex, and you say "no", the reasonable person will think that maybe you're saying "no" because of my relationship. Saying no isn't rude, it's being respectful to someone's commitment even if they aren't having respect themselves.

The only way to be apart of their mess is to literally be apart of their mess. Single people can choose not to be apart of their mess by staying out.

Wam bam thank you m'am/Sir.. Nothing else

Now if the single person is trying to replace the cheater's partner.. Thats a different story

If you sleep with someone you know is in a relationship, you are directly a part, even a small part, of the problem. You have enough of a part to have control of your actions. There's so many single people out here to have sex with there's no need to intentionally contribute to someone's wrongdoing even minorly. You can just as easily get off with someone else without that. Unless you have a gun to your head or are dying in the next few minutes, you can afford to pass on an encounter like that in favor of someone you know or at least believe is single. Have some respect and self-control.

[Rock & Roll Hall of Game]

I said some, so where's your point?

Uhm, no. If I tell you I'm on a diet, ask you for a burger, and you say "no". No-one's reasonable thought is that you're calling me fat. The reasonable thought would be to think maybe you saying "no" is because of my diet.

Same here in this situation. If I tell you I'm in a relationship, ask you for sex, and you say "no", the reasonable person will think that maybe you're saying "no" because of my relationship. Saying no isn't rude, it's being respectful to someone's commitment even if they aren't having respect themselves.

If you sleep with someone you know is in a relationship, you are directly a part, even a small part, of the problem. You have enough of a part to have control of your actions. There's so many single people out here to have sex with there's no need to intentionally contribute to someone's wrongdoing even minorly. You can just as easily get off with someone else without that. Unless you have a gun to your head or are dying in the next few minutes, you can afford to pass on an encounter like that in favor of someone you know or at least believe is single. Have some respect and self-control.

If you ask for my half-eaten burger after you ate your salad, I don't think YOURE taking your own diet seriously.. And t's kinda rude to put me into this awkward position of stopping your diet. It's a responsibility you forced onto me. I didn't ask to be your Dietary Enforcer

A small portion doesn't matter. It's an indirect influence. And it's not John Doe's problem what Jane Doe does with her partner.. John only known her for 15 minutes.

It's not about how many fish are in the sea.. It's about what's caught in your net at that moment.

[Reyna ♔]

If you ask for my half-eaten burger after you ate your salad, I don't think YOURE taking your own diet seriously.. And t's kinda rude to put me into this awkward position of stopping your diet. It's a responsibility you forced onto me. I didn't ask to be your Dietary Enforcer

A small portion doesn't matter. It's an indirect influence. And it's not John Doe's problem what Jane Doe does with her partner.. John only known her for 15 minutes.

It's not about how many fish are in the sea.. It's about what's caught in your net at that moment.

I'm not asking you to lecture me or hold my hand about it. For the millionth time, all you have to say is the word "no" and walk away. Saying "no" doesn't make you a Dietary Enforcer or even a moral compass. It's just respectful and showing self-control. There's no good reason to take advantage of the situation. "No" and go. There, simple and easy to remember.

Indirect would be you thinking someone is single,you sleep with them, but they lied to you. When you know the real situation from the start, you play a direct part in it. Small, but direct. You have some control.

You can always throw a bad one back out to sea where it came from. You aren't compelled to eat a fish with mercury in it when you can just as easily cast the net again and get another. It's not this one or nothing. In keeping it, you take on some consequences and responsibility yourself at that point.

[Rock & Roll Hall of Game]

I'm not asking you to lecture me or hold my hand about it. For the millionth time, all you have to say is the word "no" and walk away. Saying "no" doesn't make you a Dietary Enforcer or even a moral compass. It's just respectful and showing self-control. There's no good reason to take advantage of the situation. "No" and go. There, simple and easy to remember.

Indirect would be you thinking someone is single,you sleep with them, but they lied to you. When you know the whole of the situation from the start, you play a direct part in it. Small, but direct. You have some control.

You can always throw a bad one back out to sea where it came from. You aren't compelled to eat a fish with mercury in it when you can just as easily cast the net again and get another. It's not this one or nothing. In keeping it, you take on some consequences and responsibility yourself at that point.

As if life is that easy.. It doesn't work that way.. Take your diet seriously and have some self-control.. Don't spill your responsibility over onto someone else. You made the conscious decision to diet.. If you want to break it, then by all means.. Break it. Here's my burger

Now replace burger with penis and that's how cheating works.

It's still indeirect.. Yes you have some control of the situation but it still indirectly affects the influence

Whoa.. what? No.. Indistrial Fishermen get paid by the pound. Not by the health of the fish.. There's no way to see a fish that has Mercury in it.. It has to be tested fish with Mercury in it should not be placed on the shelf of your local market

Some.. But most of the consequences and responsibility should be focused on the cheater

Answer this Reyna... If your girlfriend cheated on you, you found out, would you hunt down the man who poked your girlfriend?

( That's a Lesbian Hypothetical.. )

[Reyna ♔]

As if life is that easy.. It doesn't work that way.. Take your diet seriously and have some self-control.. Don't spill your responsibility over onto someone else. You made the conscious decision to diet.. If you want to break it, then by all means.. Break it. Here's my burger

Now replace burger with penis and that's how cheating works.

It's still indeirect.. Yes you have some control of the situation but it still indirectly affects the influence

Whoa.. what? No.. Indistrial Fishermen get paid by the pound. Not by the health of the fish.. There's no way to see a fish that has Mercury in it.. It has to be tested fish with Mercury in it should not be placed on the shelf of your local market

Some.. But most of the consequences and responsibility should be focused on the cheater

Answer this Reyna... If your girlfriend cheated on you, you found out, would you hunt down the man who poked your girlfriend?

( That's a Lesbian Hypothetical.. )

 

You can have responsibility, too. This isn't one-sided here. We both need to have some self-control. The cheater isn't at all absolved, but the person helping them cheat shouldn't get off scot-free either.

 

You know what's going on. You know that nothing good can come from this except a quick release for you, and someone will be hurt in the aftermath. You played a small role in that problem. You have a portion of the responsibility. That's direct.

 

That's just shifting the goal post. Okay, you see something you think is good, by law it's tested, you see it has a certain mercury content in it but it was put on the shelf anyway even if it shouldn't be there. Why eat it anyway? You aren't starving. Say it with me, "no" and go.

 

Of course, but it takes two here. I'm not here for just holding one accountable when both have a problem.

 

This really happened to me, though she cheated with a female friend of mine, so from that experience I say I'd be upset with both. Obviously I'm much more angry and hurt by my girlfriend for lying and deceiving me into thinking she cared about me. However, that doesn't let my friend (or the man) off the hook since she(he) knew I was in a relationship with her. She(he) could have said "no" to keep from hurting me even if she(he) didn't tell me about my girl trying to cheat on me or try to convince her not to do it. She (he) could have just said "no". My solution was to cut them both off. To answer the next question, yes, I'd feel the same way even if it wasn't a friend who my ex cheated with. If you know they're in a relationship, why go for it anyway and hurt the partner (me) even in minor way? Was getting off really that important in that moment that you couldn't just go to someone else who at least seemed to be single instead of someone you know is in a relationship? You know you're contributing to someone getting hurt even if it isn't entirely your fault. Why do it? I don't get it at all.

[Rock & Roll Hall of Game]

You can have responsibility, too. This isn't one-sided here. We both need to have some self-control. The cheater isn't at all absolved, but the person helping them cheat shouldn't get off scot-free either.

You know what's going on. You know that nothing good can come from this except a quick release for you, and someone will be hurt in the aftermath. You played a small role in that problem. You have a portion of the responsibility. That's direct.

That's just shifting the goal post. Okay, you see something you think is good, by law it's tested, you see it has a certain mercury content in it but it was put on the shelf anyway even if it shouldn't be there. Why eat it anyway? You aren't starving. Say it with me, "no" and go.

Of course, but it takes two here. I'm not here for just holding one accountable when both have a problem.

This really happened to me, though she cheated with a female friend of mine, so from that experience I say I'd be upset with both. Obviously I'm much more angry and hurt by my girlfriend for lying and deceiving me into thinking she cared about me. However, that doesn't let my friend (or the man) off the hook since she(he) knew I was in a relationship with her. She(he) could have said "no" to keep from hurting me even if she(he) didn't tell me about my girl trying to cheat on me or try to convince her not to do it. She (he) could have just said "no". My solution was to cut them both off. To answer the next question, yes, I'd feel the same way even if it wasn't a friend who my ex cheated with. If you know they're in a relationship, why go for it anyway and hurt the partner (me) even in minor way? Was getting off really that important in that moment that you couldn't just go to someone else who at least seemed to be single instead of someone you know is in a relationship? You know you're contributing to someone getting hurt even if it isn't entirely your fault. Why do it? I don't get it at all.

You, hypothetically, gave me responsiblity that I didn't ask for. It's called self-control.. Not Duel-control.

The only good there is is the release. Someone will be hurt if someone spills the beans and still, it is not the person's problem and he or she can simply move on. That couple will have to figure it out without the third party

If it had Mercury it wouldn't be on the shelf. Again, you cannot see Mercury contimated fish. You ruined my analogy. Thank you

Good story but In my example, you didn't know the third party.. So if you didn't know who he was, would you drag him down with your sinking ship?

To answer that last part, it's not third-party's problem unless he or she knows the couple. Sex isn't about feelings afterwards. It's instant gratification.

Morally, it's wrong.. But not everyone has a moral compass. Some people just want to get their rocks off

[Reyna ♔]

You, hypothetically, gave me responsiblity that I didn't ask for. It's called self-control.. Not Duel-control.

The only good there is is the release. Someone will be hurt if someone spills the beans and still, it is not the person's problem and he or she can simply move on. That couple will have to figure it out without the third party

If it had Mercury it wouldn't be on the shelf. Again, you cannot see Mercury contimated fish. You ruined my analogy. Thank you

Good story but In my example, you didn't know the third party.. So if you didn't know who he was, would you drag him down with your sinking ship?

To answer that last part, it's not third-party's problem unless he or she knows the couple. Sex isn't about feelings afterwards. It's instant gratification.

Morally, it's wrong.. But not everyone has a moral compass. Some people just want to get their rocks off

Perhaps, but you still have it and "No" and go is all it takes to remove it.

 

Yes, the couple will have to figure it out on their own, so there's no need for a 3rd party to ever intentionally involve themselves.

 

You created a bad analogy in the first place. You can replace the mercury with something obvious damage and my point would still stand. You making it technical ruined it.  Not my fault.

 

I said within the story, yes, I would still be just as upset. He knew she was in a relationship, so he shares responsibility for going ahead and sleeping with her.

 

It is if he/she knows someone is in a relationship to turn down the offer. No-one is that hard up for sex that they have to take everything they can get. In that event, it is the 3rd party's problem. Yes, the cheater put them in that position, sucks, but you still have every reason to refuse and sleep with someone else.

 

Which is a problem. Thanks for rounding that out in my favor.