Dal Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I understand both sides to this argument.. I know that it can mess up a new relationship, or even help it..I'll start... I've definitely smashed on the first date a handful of times.. Some of em were just a one-time thing and never spoke to her after, and one of them I ended up marrying..who's next? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) gay dynamics are different from str8, for example I could ask what is a date? since its been that long...a lot of gay dudes hook up which means the intent is to screw at first meeting...and maybe never meet again.Right now you could charm the pants off me by asking me to dinner....that's how bad it is out here, I can get sex all day but the worst thing is I don't get as excited anymore from just sexI feel like when you talk sex gay vs. str8 is like apples and oranges, a woman controls the sex, if she says no the sex aint going down....two dudes though? they all about fucking so Edited March 30, 2016 by Stealth 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dal Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 gay dynamics are different from str8, for example I could ask what is a date? since its been that long...a lot of gay dudes hook up which means the intent is to screw at first meeting...and maybe never meet again.Right now you could charm the pants off me by asking me to dinner....that's how bad it is out here, I can get sex all day but the worst thing is I don't get as excited anymore from just sexI feel like when you talk sex gay vs. str8 is like apples and oranges, a woman controls the sex, if she says no the sex aint going down....two dudes though? they all about fucking sook I see your point..Take it like this then.. If you're looking for a LTR (not a one night stand), do you smash on the first date?idk if that is any different but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say.. Obviously if you're on Tinder or Grindr and your patrolling for some sex, then I wouldn't necessarily consider that a "date"... But if your goal to find a partner/bf/gf would you be ok with giving it up day 1? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Who paying? If I'm paying I expect at LEAST a handy. If they paying... Nope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Who paying? If I'm paying I expect at LEAST a handy. If they paying... Nope do we really think about whose paying? I guess Im the giving type I usually pay and don't think about it, but maybe that's my desperation saying thank you for your time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) ok I see your point..Take it like this then.. If you're looking for a LTR (not a one night stand), do you smash on the first date?idk if that is any different but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say.. Obviously if you're on Tinder or Grindr and your patrolling for some sex, then I wouldn't necessarily consider that a "date"... But if your goal to find a partner/bf/gf would you be ok with giving it up day 1?oh no from my experience the sooner you smash the less mystery, and if the intent is an LTR you want to have that mystery...its a turn on to build up to it, because once you have them naked its like theres not much left to anticipate. My third longest relationship we purposely didn't have sex for weeks after dating, it was his idea, but when we got there, the sex was awesome because of the build up Edited March 31, 2016 by Stealth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janetDAYZ Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 No, thats not my thing but I can understand instant attraction in that moment that can lead to intimacy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janetDAYZ Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Who paying? If I'm paying I expect at LEAST a handy. If they paying... Nope Norman pls 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dal Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 Who paying? If I'm paying I expect at LEAST a handy. If they paying... Nope oh norm.. You're not the norm... (See what I did there? Haha) But I'm beginning to like ya style bruh 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 do we really think about whose paying? I guess Im the giving type I usually pay and don't think about it, but maybe that's my desperation saying thank you for your time I do.. It needs to be said beforehand or it could make for a really awkward first date. I have paid for dinner and he the movie or vice versa. Dating guys is tricky bc you don't want to be a bum and you don't want to be a Suga Daddy all at the same time 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 oh norm.. You're not the norm... (See what I did there? Haha) But I'm beginning to like ya style bruhFinally Norman pls WHAT? show me the lies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) I do.. It needs to be said beforehand or it could make for a really awkward first date. I have paid for dinner and he the movie or vice versa. Dating guys is tricky bc you don't want to be a bum and you don't want to be a Suga Daddy all at the same timeokay well the problem is a lot of these guys are younger than me, and they hit me up on Grindr or whatever, I rarely meet guys age appropriate....but I guess its something that should be discussed before the date my one ex we had been dating pretty steady and he wanted to take me to this fancy restaurant, so we get all dressed up and right before we leave out the doors he's like "oh and we're getting separate checks" im like thinking to myself I was planning on buying our dinner Edited March 30, 2016 by Stealth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 besides if the boy ate a big meal with me being the top I know what that means so probably wouldn't wanna go up there anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarrylf Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) I actually really prefer it just to get THAT out of the way and see like what happens after, like how you act and talk afterwards, THAT is my test for the womens & mens I bed (I'm bi for the newbs). I actually kind of hate the sex being prolonged because though I can understand and appreciate that it gives a chance to get to know each other better, lately with prolonging it either by choice or circumstance there's a few who I went on 1st dates on and sexual chemistry was through the roof but now we're very friend zone...which is OK I always welcome new friends, but I like to even get sexual with my friends (that are interested or there's a mutual attraction) just to get that out of the way and see what's there if anything. It's funny me in 2013 loved 1 night stands, and hookups and quickies, but me today HELL NO....well I'll still do em when the mood hits, but damnit the sex is so much better when you have a comfortability with the other person or something beyond just attraction, like hookups really can be hand in hand with masturbation to me these days. Edited March 30, 2016 by jarrylf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I actually really prefer it just to get THAT out of the way and see like what happens after, like how you act and talk afterwards, THAT is my test for the womens & mens I bed (I'm bi for the newbs). I actually kind of hate the sex being prolonged because though I can understand and appreciate that it gives a chance to get to know each other better, lately with prolonging it either by choice or circumstance there's a few who I went on 1st dates on and sexual chemistry was through the roof but now we're very friend zone...which is OK I always welcome new friends, but I like to even get sexual with my friends (that are interested or there's a mutual attraction) just to get that out of the way and see what's there if anything. It's funny me in 2013 loved 1 night stands, and hookups and quickies, but me today HELL NO....well I'll still do em when the mood hits, but damnit the sex is so much better when you have a comfortability with the other person or something beyond just attraction, like hookups really can be hand in hand with masturbation to me these days.Idk it sounds like a task or chore when u say "just get it outta the way" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarrylf Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Idk it sounds like a task or chore when u say "just get it outta the way" I KIND OF see the 1st time as being a task lol, because realistically until it happens I'm wondering when it will., once it's happened, Im conisderably more relaxed about when it'll happen again lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dal Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 besides if the boy ate a big meal with me being the top I know what that means so probably wouldn't wanna go up there anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquaria Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Yes. But in general if I really liked the guy and see it going somewhere I will keep it in my pants and wait a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennita jo Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Never on the first several. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquaria Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Never on the first several.It's un-American Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Yes. But in general if I really liked the guy and see it going somewhere I will keep it in my pants and wait a while. this is probably the best response and most typical behavior, thus the answer being it depends....if theres chemistry for more ill invest more into waiting 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennita jo Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 It's un-American Comments like this have ended many a potential relationship for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dal Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 So far, a lot of these comments are applicable to both straight and gay relationships ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquaria Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Comments like this have ended many a potential relationship for me.Well your approach is actually how I got with my man so I'm a believer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquaria Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 So far, a lot of these comments are applicable to both straight and gay relationships ??A whore's a whore. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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