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How many true friends would you say you have?


Bailey

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I can only count one, we've known each other since high school but only became good friends after we worked together, she lives in Dallas but I visit her at least once a year. I dont have any close friends here I moved to this area two years ago and despite trying with gay men I find they are flaky as hell <_<

Edited by Bailey.
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I'm seeing a trend here from two responses, both from gay black men, I make this observation on the basis that White gay men can call one another "friends" and loosely use the term, Its like some form of white privilege, yet when it comes to men of color, I think cultural barriers make it less likely that men of color form bonds with white gays, I have experienced this numerous times in my life ...at least in this area

Edited by Bailey.
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I'm seeing a trend here from two responses, both from gay black men, I make this observation on the basis that White gay men can call one another "friends" and loosely use the term, Its like some form of white privilege, yet when it comes to men of color, I think cultural barriers make it less likely that men of color form bonds with white gays, I have experienced this numerous times in my life ...at least in this area

Well honestly I purposely try not to befriend a lot of gays. I only need about 2 or 3 close gay friends and that's it. I've seen soooooo much drama in the gay community and so much of it from the few gay friends that I do have. They're like str8 girls who are always catty, talk shit, or think they're better than the other person sitting across the room. I've seen and heard so much of it even at the gay bars and clubs. I've gone to the club with a few times with some former gay friends who are now associates, they are Mexican by the way, and no joke they were always trying to find somebody to fight either halfway through the night or after the club. I told their asses i'm not trying to get banned from places I like to hang out all because of them wanting to start shit. I remember one night we went out and we were in line waiting to order a drink. 

One of my friends balled up a napkin and threw it at a guy and his boyfriend who were at the bar ordering a drink. One of the guys turned around and said who threw that? My friend said "I did" and went up to him and mushed him in the face and my friend's friend jumped in and they were gonna try and fight to 2 guys. I told them to stop and asked them why they were messing with those 2 guys and that the fight wouldn't even be worth it cause those 2 guys were clearly scared and definitely looked like they hadn't had a fight in their life. The guys ended up being so scared they closed their tab and left :(. I felt so bad. I stopped hanging out with them. This was like 3 or 4 years ago and they're still fighting. Now the few gay friends I hang out with are more sophistocated and presentable. We don't fight or pop off, well they don't pop off but I do occasionally if a bitch tries it. They're not fighters but i'll pop a dude in the face and get to fighting if they give me reason.

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I'm seeing a trend here from two responses, both from gay black men, I make this observation on the basis that White gay men can call one another "friends" and loosely use the term, Its like some form of white privilege, yet when it comes to men of color, I think cultural barriers make it less likely that men of color form bonds with white gays, I have experienced this numerous times in my life ...at least in this area

It has nothing to do with race.

i have gay white (and black) friends but you said “true friends” which I took as “best friends”

Edited by State of the Game
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I can only count one, we've known each other since high school but only became good friends after we worked together, she lives in Dallas but I visit her at least once a year. I dont have any close friends here I moved to this area two years ago and despite trying with gay men I find they are flaky as hell <_<

I've realised the harsh reality of that. It seems gay dudes are ultimately, only interested in fucking. Like we CAN be friends, but only if we fuck to. But if the fucking stops, so does the friendship. Maybe its dudes or the medium (mainly apps) in which they/we are meeting.

 

In response to your original question, id say between 1- 3. I have been questioning my friends recently a lot though and how id like to increase my circle...but it seems hard...or I'm not making enough effort.

Edited by vibeology
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I've realised the harsh reality of that. It seems gay dudes are ultimately, only interested in fucking. Like we CAN be friends, but only if we fuck to. But if the fucking stops, so does the friendship. Maybe its dudes or the medium (mainly apps) in which they/we are meeting.

 

In response to your original question, id say between 1- 3. I have been questioning my friends recently a lot though and how id like to increase my circle...but it seems hard...or I'm not making enough effort.

I think its definitely where you look, whether that be apps or bars, neither seem sufficient for good friends, and Id take str8 ones but its nice to be around folks that can relate to you. My friend Aaron and I hit a bump in the road, he felt that I was getting too close, and he's using drugs so theres that....we had stopped fooling around but last week he called me to do just that ...I don't know its weird gay men that is

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I've realised the harsh reality of that. It seems gay dudes are ultimately, only interested in fucking. Like we CAN be friends, but only if we fuck to. But if the fucking stops, so does the friendship. Maybe its dudes or the medium (mainly apps) in which they/we are meeting.

 

In response to your original question, id say between 1- 3. I have been questioning my friends recently a lot though and how id like to increase my circle...but it seems hard...or I'm not making enough effort.

Yes. That a common denominator.. sex. It makes the world go ‘round. If you want to find a gay friend, try not having sex with them. Good luck with that though ?

Making friends is difficult as an adult especially if you’re, like myself, introvert. I picked up smoking cigarettes years back to become social to an extent. I don’t want a larger circle. Like Bailey said, anyone with a crew of “true friends” that’s more than 5 deep isn’t realistic. As an adult, that just doesn’t seem feasible.

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Yes. That a common denominator.. sex. It makes the world go ‘round. If you want to find a gay friend, try not having sex with them. Good luck with that though ?

Making friends is difficult as an adult especially if you’re, like myself, introvert. I picked up smoking cigarettes years back to become social to an extent. I don’t want a larger circle. Like Bailey said, anyone with a crew of “true friends” that’s more than 5 deep isn’t realistic. As an adult, that just doesn’t seem feasible.

It's not you got the adults on this board barely crossing 3 and some stating they got 2.5 ....which makes one ask how the hell does that happen ...like this muthafucka about 1/2 a true friend to me.

I got neighbors across the way arguing loud as fuck right now, and Im thinking yeah, that makes me rethink having "friends" if it means telling folks "get the fuck outta my house" <_<

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2 besties & 10 good friends (aka people who I love & adore & have each others back but we either dont see or talk to each other enough to be besties, but if we did its clear we would be)

 

well according to Bailey they're not true friends because he doesn't know anybody with that many friends :lol: 

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It's not you got the adults on this board barely crossing 3 and some stating they got 2.5 ....which makes one ask how the hell does that happen ...like this muthafucka about 1/2 a true friend to me.

I got neighbors across the way arguing loud as fuck right now, and Im thinking yeah, that makes me rethink having "friends" if it means telling folks "get the fuck outta my house" <_<

Well I took the .5 as a true friend but out of state or long distance or even little contact due to a hectic life. 

I think you’re confusing “friends” with “a couple”. There’s a difference ?

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