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How many true friends would you say you have?

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I just finished reading it. It's interesting to read about the drug thing. I identify with that part of knowing people who do drugs other than weed and I don't hang around them. I've honestly haven't seen so much drug use before as i've seen with the gay community. I don't go to after parties at anyone's house cause I know they're most likely gonna do drugs. I've held a few of them at my place after the club and that's all they did was drink and go in the bathroom to do some lines. Haven't had an after party in years and don't plan on it. Some people didn't know when to go home so the next morning i'd be up while friends (not true friends) would still be sleeping off the drugs. Sometimes they didn't get up til like 12 in the afternoon or later. I'd be like "um so when y'all leaving?". I've even called a LYFT ride for one of my friends before so he could get his ass outta my place and go home.

There are times where I get lonely but those are few and in between. My ex would come over and hang out sometimes and even stay the night. The next day we'd be hanging out watching tv or whatever and i'd find myself wanting him to go home. Sometimes i'd even ask him what time does he think he wants to go home. IDK I think i've gotten so used to living alone doing whatever I want relaxing comfortably by myself that I like the peace and quiet. I've had straight friends come over and hang out. Next thing you know I look over and they're asleep on my couch. I think it's cause I do have an active social life. If I didn't then that would probably be sort of a problem. To just go to work, come home, and not have a social life or friends to hang out with at least on your days off would be depressing. I couldn't imagine it.

a lot of what you mentioned depends on the person's social settings if you will, if you're accustomed to not having people around the peace and quiet can be relaxing and great. Its the times you feel like the world is having a ball and you're not part of it that it sucks. Even with my most recent "friend" I found myself a little like okay at what point are we clocking out, like we went out one night and he wanted to do the Sunday Funday brunch thing again, now dont get me wrong it was fun as shit the first time, but hell Im still in bed recovering from last night I dont feel like getting up to get fucked up again :sigh: he showed "hype" like behavior from the very beginning meeting him....I understand the idea of not having someone just like yourself around thats fine, but two people can actually be too different and not really on the same page, I mean the fucking drugs, a God damn crack pipe is in my sight and I cannot believe this guy even owns this shit its like wtf :mellow:

Edited by Bailey.
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a lot of what you mentioned depends on the person's social settings if you will, if you're accustomed to not having people around the peace and quiet can be relaxing and great. Its the times you feel like the world is having a ball and you're not part of it that it sucks. Even with my most recent "friend" I found myself a little like okay at what point are we clocking out, like we went out one night and he wanted to do the Sunday Funday brunch thing again, now dont get me wrong it was fun as shit the first time, but hell Im still in bed recovering from last night I dont feel like getting up to get fucked up again :sigh: he showed "hype" like behavior from the very beginning meeting him....I understand the idea of not having someone just like yourself around thats fine, but two people can actually be too different and not really on the same page, I mean the fucking drugs, a God damn crack pipe is in my sight and I cannot believe this guy even owns this shit its like wtf :mellow:

Yeah my 2 good friends who I usually hang out with like doing that sunday brunch stuff after a night out of partying. I'm not a morning person and the last thing I wanna do after a night out is wake up early for some damn brunch but I do it for them anyway. I'd rather be in bed or relaxing watching tv until I feel like i'm fully awake lol. I normally don't wake up til around 10am anyway since i'm a night owl and I normally don't feel like eating at least til an hour or 2 after i'm awake. Sometimes when we do go to brunch and they drink I will refuse. I'll have orange juice or something else if i'm still feeling it from last night. I'm not trying to damage my kidneys with the continuation of drinking from the prior night. See now this is how I am. If I meet someone and they're too hype and i'm not into that then i'm gonna be cool with them since i'm meeting them for the first time but later when they hit me up to hang out i'm gonna blow them off until I feel like i'm up for giving them a 2nd chance. Once they get a 2nd chance and they still turn me off then it's over as far as us hanging out. 

I recently cut off a friend a few months ago. Nice looking dude but he was too into drugs. 26yrs old still living at home. He would come over and hang out. We'd talk, have a few beers, and have a good time. No matter what we'd talk about or how much of a good time we'd be having he'd always turn the conversation to drugs. I eventually got tired of it cause i'm not into drugs. This fool was doing anything he could from weed to pills to coke. I told him many times he needed to stop but he'd say weird shit like "drugs are actually good for you" and they help him focus. I was like :mellow:  no they don't. Any excuse he could use to do drugs. He was and probably still is going through depression. He was a cutter. One time he pulled his shorts down and had cuts all over his thighs and told me what he did. Dealing with himself being gay and doing drugs wasn't a good combination. Anyway he had all of a sudden stopped hitting me up for months and then he hit me up on FB even though he had my number and asked me if I knew where he could get some Crystal. I told him I didn't and I blocked him. Then months later he realized I blocked him and he used his brother's account and gave me his number for me to text him. I didn't. It's going on a year now since I haven't talked to him. You're not gonna stop talking to me for no reason like I did something wrong and then hit me up all of a sudden thinking everything is cool. No sir and you're a drug addict. No thanks.

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All my close friends are straight. I have gay associates, but I feel like if I got too comfortable around them they might try it. I have older gay mentors though.

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Oh and I have some transgender friends that I trust

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I have a core group of 4 friends. One I've known since pre-k 25 years, two for 11 years from temple, and one for 5 years through volunteering. 

There's an extended circle of friends from high school, temple, volunteering, and community work.. 

Gender, race, sexuality, religion don't matter. But all of my close friends are from the Caribbean and Latin America.

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I have a core group of 4 friends. One I've known since pre-k 25 years, two for 11 years from temple, and one for 5 years through volunteering. 

There's an extended circle of friends from high school, temple, volunteering, and community work.. 

Gender, race, sexuality, religion don't matter. But all of my close friends are from the Caribbean and Latin America.

Exactly. Some of these gays in there here honestly think you can't have close str8 friend or there has to be a certain criteria for you to have a close friend if you're gay. I don't understand it.

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Exactly. Some of these gays in there here honestly think you can't have close str8 friend or there has to be a certain criteria for you to have a close friend if you're gay. I don't understand it.

I agree with you. But I think with any friendship, there just needs to be an understanding of each other's boundaries.

While I'm physically attracted to most of my male friends (regardless of their sexuality) and honest about it, I stay in my lane. If they aren't mutually interested in sex or romance on top of the friendship, I accept it and move on with the friendship. I don't get offended and say "If you don't want  to sleep with me, then we can't be friends!". If they are interested, I'm going to act on it, only with the understanding that our friendship is the priority and sex and/romance isn't an obligation, it's a choice.

Being a friend of mine requires respect, honesty, effective communication, support, boundaries, a healthy mind and heart. I give 100% unconditional love and expect the same in return. 

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I agree with you. But I think with any friendship, there just needs to be an understanding of each other's boundaries.

While I'm physically attracted to most of my male friends (regardless of their sexuality) and honest about it, I stay in my lane. If they aren't mutually interested in sex or romance on top of the friendship, I accept it and move on with the friendship. I don't get offended and say "If you don't want  to sleep with me, then we can't be friends!". If they are interested, I'm going to act on it, only with the understanding that our friendship is the priority and sex and/romance isn't an obligation, it's a choice.

Being a friend of mine requires respect, honesty, effective communication, support, boundaries, a healthy mind and heart. I give 100% unconditional love and expect the same in return. 

You and I are alike in that way. I'm attracted to a lot of my male friends and i'd never tell them "no sex, no friendship." Funny thing is that i've told a few of my str8 friends i'm attracted to them. Well i've actually said it in a dirtier way to some of them lol. Some laugh, some flirt back, and of course you get some who give you the "If I were gay" or "If I swung that way". As for the communication thing, I'm a texter and I don't like talking on the phone but I do expect effective communication and for us to at least hang out sometimes. Catch a movie or go have some drinks and/or food or just simply hang out at one another's place. Now my friend Diego lives about a 5-8 minute drive down the street from me. I haven't seen him since August 26th but he's been going other places like SF and movies with other people. There's no reason why we live in the same town and literally a few minutes from each other and we haven't hung out in going on 3 months. 

Diego claims i'm one of his best friends but I don't want any best friends like that. I've literally hung out more with my other friends Nando and Larry who both live about 2hrs away from me. That's pretty sad and the older I get the less time I have for b.s. like that. I no longer consider him one of my best friends. He's now just a good friend. This way I won't keep being disappointed by him.

Edited by JoeJoe
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You and I are alike in that way. I'm attracted to a lot of my male friends and i'd never tell them "no sex, no friendship." Funny thing is that i've told a few of my str8 friends i'm attracted to them. Well i've actually said it in a dirtier way to some of them lol. Some laugh, some flirt back, and of course you get some who give you the "If I were gay" or "If I swung that way". As for the communication thing, I'm a texter and I don't like talking on the phone but I do expect effective communication and for us to at least hang out sometimes. Catch a movie or go have some drinks and/or food or just simply hang out at one another's place. Now my friend Diego lives about a 5-8 minute drive down the street from me. I haven't seen him since August 26th but he's been going other places like SF and movies with other people. There's no reason why we live in the same town and literally a few minutes from each other and we haven't hung out in going on 3 months. 

Diego claims i'm one of his best friends but I don't want any best friends like that. I've literally hung out more with my other friends Nando and Larry who both live about 2hrs away from me. That's pretty sad and the older I get the less time I have for b.s. like that. I no longer consider him one of my best friends. He's now just a good friend. This way I won't keep being disappointed by him.

Being honest about my attraction is a lot newer. I used to be afraid to express myself in that way, but after reading The Ethical Slut and no longer willing to apologize for my sexuality, I just say exactly how I feel, as explicitly, honestly, and respectfully as possible. 

They know not to try me with that "If I were gay" mess, because I can play that game even better.

When you call someone a best friend or close friend, the communication and effort has to be mutual. I don't think the amount of time spent together matters as much as having that support and knowing you can rely on them to be there for you. Not just to hang out, but to listen and be a stress outlet. 

My friends know I hate texting. If you're only keeping in touch with me through text or online, we aren't close. If I only hear from you or see you every 6 months or unexpectedly or you're too busy and constantly apologizing for not responding, then I'm not a priority. 

I don't expect to see anyone every day or every week. I only ask that we're both making efforts to be there for each other.

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I agree with you. But I think with any friendship, there just needs to be an understanding of each other's boundaries.

While I'm physically attracted to most of my male friends (regardless of their sexuality) and honest about it, I stay in my lane. If they aren't mutually interested in sex or romance on top of the friendship, I accept it and move on with the friendship. I don't get offended and say "If you don't want  to sleep with me, then we can't be friends!". If they are interested, I'm going to act on it, only with the understanding that our friendship is the priority and sex and/romance isn't an obligation, it's a choice.

Being a friend of mine requires respect, honesty, effective communication, support, boundaries, a healthy mind and heart. I give 100% unconditional love and expect the same in return. 

Precisely, but this is really lacking with dudes out here. It seems to me at least.

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I agree with you. But I think with any friendship, there just needs to be an understanding of each other's boundaries.

While I'm physically attracted to most of my male friends (regardless of their sexuality) and honest about it, I stay in my lane. If they aren't mutually interested in sex or romance on top of the friendship, I accept it and move on with the friendship. I don't get offended and say "If you don't want  to sleep with me, then we can't be friends!". If they are interested, I'm going to act on it, only with the understanding that our friendship is the priority and sex and/romance isn't an obligation, it's a choice.

Being a friend of mine requires respect, honesty, effective communication, support, boundaries, a healthy mind and heart. I give 100% unconditional love and expect the same in return. 

Image result for hallelujah gif

Shoot real talk as a bisexual too I'm definitely attracted to every one of my friends (besties, and other) and it's mutual (with the gay ones, the some  of the female ones & the bi ones) but we all have boundaries with it and about it. some we do the fun flirtations....2 we went a bit further, it doesn't change anything unless it actually does, and to be a bestie or good friend to me you gotta be open & honest & respectful, so if flirtation or even full on sex with a friend causes any of us to have feelings that go further it's something we'd discuss, and we have, and in 1 case tried dating, but realized early on the friendship works better than actually dating each other. 

 

Bottom line in this thread & on this topic, I hate 1 size fits all "rules" about friends & friendships like  "nobody can be friends with someone their attracted to", "couples shouldn't be friends with single people", "couples shouldn't have best friends that aren't each other", "you can never be just friends with someone you've been intimate with before", "you can never be friends with a ex", "when you're friends with a couple if they break up you have to choose sides", "you can't be friends with too many people". I'm sorry I don't have a subscription to that bullshit, my friends are my friends for reasons & understandings decided & understood by us, not anyone else. If any of that works for anybody else, that's cute for you, carry on, but don't expect me to abide by that shit.

Edited by jarrylf
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Being honest about my attraction is a lot newer. I used to be afraid to express myself in that way, but after reading The Ethical Slut and no longer willing to apologize for my sexuality, I just say exactly how I feel, as explicitly, honestly, and respectfully as possible. 

They know not to try me with that "If I were gay" mess, because I can play that game even better.

When you call someone a best friend or close friend, the communication and effort has to be mutual. I don't think the amount of time spent together matters as much as having that support and knowing you can rely on them to be there for you. Not just to hang out, but to listen and be a stress outlet. 

My friends know I hate texting. If you're only keeping in touch with me through text or online, we aren't close. If I only hear from you or see you every 6 months or unexpectedly or you're too busy and constantly apologizing for not responding, then I'm not a priority. 

I don't expect to see anyone every day or every week. I only ask that we're both making efforts to be there for each other.

I agree. I think as we get older the bolder we get with expressing ourselves. Diego and I are the opposite. We are both texters lol. We've literally texted each other for hours. I only talk on the phone with certain people. One is my Aunt and the other is my sister. A lot of times it's just not anything worthy of calling anybody to chat about. I realized recently that apparently i'm not  as much of a priority to Diego especially us living that close. If you have time to hit up everybody else and hang out with them especially out of town then i'm not much of a best friend to you as I thought I was. Now i'm comfortable with it. I've always told my close friends i'm fine if we don't hang out all the time but at least try to keep in contact. I found myself always being the one reaching out to spend time. We used to hang out and he'd vent to me about things and i'd listen and give advice. IDK what's change but after seeing for myself he actually does have time but chooses to kick it with others and not one of his so called best friends I was through. I totally agree with the only keeping in touch through text or online. Only way that would work for me is if you're out of state and of course we'd talk a few times on the phone.

Nando, Diego, and I used to always group text. Well last week Nando who lives almost 2hrs away made another attempt for Diego to hang out with us and even told Diego that Andrew(Diego's ex) is welcome to join. He invited Andrew cause Diego's been hanging out with him lately and I guess he figured that would finally get Diego to come and hang out with us. Well I jumped in and added "Boy Diego doesn't even hang out with us so what makes you think Andrew will?" Well later on Diego hits me up solo chat and asks how my week is going and then asked if I wanna go out and have a drink. I ignored him and didn't respond til the next day. I'm way too smart for that buddy. You only offered to hang out after all this time because of what I said in group chat. If you feel like you're pressured to hang out then you can keep it boo cause I don't want it. I still love you but I see where we stand and I don't have time. Pretty sad I feel closer to Nando than I do Diego and i've been knowing Diego for 10yrs and only been hanging out with Nando not even a year yet although i've kept in contact with Nando for about 2-3yrs. I told him i'm fine with going on our group trips like we've always done with us 3 but that I will no longer make effort to invite Diego.

Edited by JoeJoe
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I'd suck all of my friends' dicks if I could. -_- 

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I'd suck all of my friends' dicks if I could. -_- 

janetunhunh.gif

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Precisely, but this is really lacking with dudes out here. It seems to me at least.

Oh it's everywhere my love, trust!! Immaturity, ego, pride, and self-esteem.

Men who have learned to use their looks and body to get attention want to feel validated by feeling attractive and wanted, because it's somehow become synonymous with their self worth. I'm grateful to anyone who can honestly tell me they aren't interested. If they say one thing and do another or can't tell me to my face, then they don't deserve my time. I don't look at rejection as something personal and horrible, I look at it as an opportunity to move on and find a better freak.

 

Shoot real talk as a bisexual too I'm definitely attracted to every one of my friends (besties, and other) and it's mutual (with the gay ones, the some  of the female ones & the bi ones) but we all have boundaries with it and about it. some we do the fun flirtations....2 we went a bit further, it doesn't change anything unless it actually does, and to be a bestie or good friend to me you gotta be open & honest & respectful, so if flirtation or even full on sex with a friend causes any of us to have feelings that go further it's something we'd discuss, and we have, and in 1 case tried dating, but realized early on the friendship works better than actually dating each other. 

 

Bottom line in this thread & on this topic, I hate 1 size fits all "rules" about friends & friendships like  "nobody can be friends with someone their attracted to", "couples shouldn't be friends with single people", "couples shouldn't have best friends that aren't each other", "you can never be just friends with someone you've been intimate with before", "you can never be friends with a ex", "when you're friends with a couple if they break up you have to choose sides", "you can't be friends with too many people". I'm sorry I don't have a subscription to that bullshit, my friends are my friends for reasons & understandings decided & understood by us, not anyone else. If any of that works for anybody else, that's cute for you, carry on, but don't expect me to abide by that shit.

Absolutely. Conversation, communication, listening, understanding...a real friend and mature individual can have these discussions. If the two of you reach common ground, then everything is fine. Even if someone changes their mind, it should be OK, as long as both parties are happy and satisfied.

In my opinion, these made up rules have been applied by people who are used to more traditional values and views or people who won't discuss their REAL attractions to friends or their own sexual desires. With both my friends and whoever I'm dating, we discuss everything...monogamy, polyamory, cheating, messing with friends, kinky sex, marriage, etc. These discussions must happen, because all too often, the topics that aren't being touched are the problem areas. Like folks assuming they have the same definition of being faithful/monogamous with their partner, when everyone's definition is different.

I agree. I think as we get older the bolder we get with expressing ourselves. Diego and I are the opposite. We are both texters lol. We've literally texted each other for hours. I only talk on the phone with certain people. One is my Aunt and the other is my sister. A lot of times it's just not anything worthy of calling anybody to chat about. I realized recently that apparently i'm not  as much of a priority to Diego especially us living that close. If you have time to hit up everybody else and hang out with them especially out of town then i'm not much of a best friend to you as I thought I was. Now i'm comfortable with it. I've always told my close friends i'm fine if we don't hang out all the time but at least try to keep in contact. I found myself always being the one reaching out to spend time. We used to hang out and he'd vent to me about things and i'd listen and give advice. IDK what's change but after seeing for myself he actually does have time but chooses to kick it with others and not one of his so called best friends I was through. I totally agree with the only keeping in touch through text or online. Only way that would work for me is if you're out of state and of course we'd talk a few times on the phone.

Nando, Diego, and I used to always group text. Well last week Nando who lives almost 2hrs away made another attempt for Diego to hang out with us and even told Diego that Andrew(Diego's ex) is welcome to join. He invited Andrew cause Diego's been hanging out with him lately and I guess he figured that would finally get Diego to come and hang out with us. Well I jumped in and added "Boy Diego doesn't even hang out with us so what makes you think Andrew will?" Well later on Diego hits me up solo chat and asks how my week is going and then asked if I wanna go out and have a drink. I ignored him and didn't respond til the next day. I'm way too smart for that buddy. You only offered to hang out after all this time because of what I said in group chat. If you feel like you're pressured to hang out then you can keep it boo cause I don't want it. I still love you but I see where we stand and I don't have time. Pretty sad I feel closer to Nando than I do Diego and i've been knowing Diego for 10yrs and only been hanging out with Nando not even a year yet although i've kept in contact with Nando for about 2-3yrs. I told him i'm fine with going on our group trips like we've always done with us 3 but that I will no longer make effort to invite Diego.

If you two are comfortable with the communication, that's fine. It's common ground, meeting in the middle.

I think your views on keeping in touch are healthy and realistic. 

I feel like my friends who live out of state are the best at keeping in touch. They make more of an effort because they feel the distance and want to connect.

In my opinion, Diego has hurt you and let you down. But I think it's fair to take the opportunity and speak with him in person. Don't be upset and hold back how you feel. At least if I were in your shoes, I'd have a one on one. A conversation does need to take place. You deserve to be heard and even if things don't change, at least you were open and honest about how you feel. Talk to him! *hugs*

I'd suck all of my friends' dicks if I could. -_- 

And it's not even that difficult! I've seen, felt, and had further contact with a lot of friends parts. 

What's my strategy? Ask and tell! If I like their ass and wanna see something, I say it. If I want to feel something, I ask. Whenever we're hugging, I always let my hand brush against the top of their cakes to see their reaction. I'll ask them if they mind and see what their reaction is. If I'm curious about the eggplant, I'll have a discussion about their dick and ask them questions about it. I go sexology on them haha.

I guess because I'm a sexual health educator, sex is always a topic with my friends. Not only do I talk about the factual and scientific things, but also the freaky, nasty things. I know how all of my friends like to have sex, what they like, don't like, and what they want. 

I plant seeds in their head, especially the ones who haven't gotten any in a while or are curious. You gotta ask them about their best sex, their fantasies, and then let them know about how good your skills are and what freaky things you've done in the past. Give an open invitation.

I go with friends to the nude beach often and we share porn on Snapchat and Tumblr. Just gotta keep the environment a little thotty, but knowing that it's a friendly freaky safe and they won't get judged for indulging.

Edited by Kishi
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In my opinion, Diego has hurt you and let you down. But I think it's fair to take the opportunity and speak with him in person. Don't be upset and hold back how you feel. At least if I were in your shoes, I'd have a one on one. A conversation does need to take place. You deserve to be heard and even if things don't change, at least you were open and honest about how you feel. Talk to him! *hugs*

And it's not even that difficult! I've seen, felt, and had further contact with a lot of friends parts. 

What's my strategy? Ask and tell! If I like their ass and wanna see something, I say it. If I want to feel something, I ask. Whenever we're hugging, I always let my hand brush against the top of their cakes to see their reaction. I'll ask them if they mind and see what their reaction is. If I'm curious about the eggplant, I'll have a discussion about their dick and ask them questions about it. I go sexology on them haha.

I guess because I'm a sexual health educator, sex is always a topic with my friends. Not only do I talk about the factual and scientific things, but also the freaky, nasty things. I know how all of my friends like to have sex, what they like, don't like, and what they want. 

I plant seeds in their head, especially the ones who haven't gotten any in a while or are curious. You gotta ask them about their best sex, their fantasies, and then let them know about how good your skills are and what freaky things you've done in the past. Give an open invitation.

I go with friends to the nude beach often and we share porn on Snapchat and Tumblr. Just gotta keep the environment a little thotty, but knowing that it's a friendly freaky safe and they won't get judged for indulging.

Yup you are 100% correct. He has hurt and disappointed me.The thing is i've already had talks with him about this matter more than once. I don't want any "best friends" who every time they're talking to someone they push their real friends to the side. Nope I refuse to deal with it. His ex never pushed his friends aside when he was dating Diego. In fact they would all hang out together. I've told Diego the same exact words i'm saying now about not pushing friends to the side because who's gonna be there when it's all said and done. I'm done talking to him about the same thing over and over again so it's best for me to just demote him to "good friend" that way I can't be disappointed anymore. Nando actually texted me yesterday asking if my fb post was about Diego and I told him it's about Diego and 1 other friend. He said "Yeah Diego asked me if the post was about him." I told him not to tell Diego, he'll just have to figure it out. It's clear he knows it's about him.

Oh my you're bold :lol:  The boldest thing i've done was purposefully look at their crotch at let them see me doing it. With 2 others i've lifted up their shirt to look at their crotch. They would laugh cause they couldn't believe I just did that. These are str8 friends by the way lol. I think i'd get too shy to do all of what you as far asking them about their sexual fantasies and stuff unless I have a bit of alcohol.

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Yup you are 100% correct. He has hurt and disappointed me.The thing is i've already had talks with him about this matter more than once. I don't want any "best friends" who every time they're talking to someone they push their real friends to the side. Nope I refuse to deal with it. His ex never pushed his friends aside when he was dating Diego. In fact they would all hang out together. I've told Diego the same exact words i'm saying now about not pushing friends to the side because who's gonna be there when it's all said and done. I'm done talking to him about the same thing over and over again so it's best for me to just demote him to "good friend" that way I can't be disappointed anymore. Nando actually texted me yesterday asking if my fb post was about Diego and I told him it's about Diego and 1 other friend. He said "Yeah Diego asked me if the post was about him." I told him not to tell Diego, he'll just have to figure it out. It's clear he knows it's about him.

Oh my you're bold :lol:  The boldest thing i've done was purposefully look at their crotch at let them see me doing it. With 2 others i've lifted up their shirt to look at their crotch. They would laugh cause they couldn't believe I just did that. These are str8 friends by the way lol. I think i'd get too shy to do all of what you as far asking them about their sexual fantasies and stuff unless I have a bit of alcohol.

If you've already had previous conversations and it hasn't changed, then I feel like distance is the only option. Don't bother repeating yourself if there's no progress. It's his loss. 

Friends that disappear when they date someone...a huge pet peeve of mine. When I'm dating someone, my friends will always matter. As will my family. I don't push anyone aside to make room for one. Putting all of your energy and effort into someone new and discarding those who have been there longer is not healthy. But I'm not going to beg them to change. I'll just distance myself and let them make the effort.

I just realized that I am pretty bold haha. I don't want to hold back. If I think someone is cute, I'll say it. If I want to see something, touch something, or do something, I'll say it. But not right off of the bat. I always stay in an appropriate area, yet find a way to say what I like and want. Especially in the beginning stages of the friendship, I like to tread lightly. But the more comfortable I get, the more daring and bold I get. I just don't apply pressure.

You never know what could happen if you nicely plant a seed or just ask nicely. I don't like to wait around for someone else to make the first move at any point. I always want to let them know, at any point, that whenever they're ready, we can make things happen! It's never forced or coerced, I always want it to be consensual, pleasurable, relaxing, and fun. 

 

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