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John....

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John.... last won the day on June 19

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About John....

  • Rank
    Unbreakable
  • Birthday 09/01/1978

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Interests
    Janet

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  1. oh no that was really small actually never saw her that small
  2. John....

    Serious topic

    "Also, responding to anyone in this thread by calling them silly is really gross and won't be tolerated. I said this thread would be respectful and if you're going to act like "Game" in here I will report you." Author Horny Braxton
  3. John....

    Serious topic

    I'm not sure why you quoted me in the first place go back and check yourself .......you cannot find decency in yourself to simply move on, sometimes its just not the place to say any of the things you did, but that would be too much like common sense this is a thread devoted to those of us who wish to converse over a "serious topic" not post laugh gifs your existence to antagonize others says a great deal about who you are.....if you cannot conduct yourself in a respectful manner you will be reported, let this be the first, only and last warning to you regarding any more commentary on what you think... also for futher clarity the meth head hide that side of who he was from me, if you're going to nit pick my posts make sure you have all your facts together, that part was made clear, secondly my ex uses his bipolar diagnosis to do a lot of heavy lifting for his otherwise shit personality
  4. John....

    Serious topic

    so I just left the apartment, I see that getting out into fresh air and seeing people walking around doing shit just sparks something inside of me, I cannot imprison myself in here. Its not healthy to not get out
  5. John....

    Serious topic

    when I was in treatment I do remember one counselor she was young and pretty, but super professional and extremely focused on providing quality care. We had group meetings with her where we would openly discuss our problems, and she said right at the start "okay close that door we're going to sit here talk and listen and cut the bullshit" ....she was not playing and she kept it on point, she told me about my ex saying "that's an abusive relationship" in her mind I could tell from the way she spoke that that was not only not acceptable it would never be a consideration to attempt working that out. I just never thought about how bad things were with him, and several people have informed me to cut any and all ties with him permanently dont ever speak to nor see him again
  6. John....

    Serious topic

    I'll be True Me and that means open and honest to a fault, I have a pair of industrial scissors I bought from home depot they can pretty much cut anything. I kept going back to that scene in "12 Reasons Why" where Hanna slit her wrists, I thought that would be a bit much and if I made it thru one arm will I not freak out from that sight and not cut the other? Calling NS hotline was simply an attempt to have someone to talk to, I don't want to end my life now, and didnt then, I want to have a better life, one with true support. BUT as it stands I dont have any friends, Im an introvert and I dont trust too much anymore I shut down. I guess that's why I dont even have sex anymore, I've been celibate before for a year, now Im at 6 months, its not about sex, its about connection, and I'm not finding it, and when I try it fails. I do own some responsibility because I didnt vet those guys very well before trying to integrate them into my world. A meth head, a bipolar whore ...I mean really? at least now I can say I recognize the kind of guys I would work best with meaning guys like me educated not into the gay bar scene and not whores nor are they about drugs, I mean someone not only with goals but a plan to achieve them
  7. John....

    Serious topic

    before, it was such a shit time for me that sometimes the only way to make it thru is to laugh about it......I'm like these mofos got me on hold, do they not know this is probably the one line you really dont want someone on hold, so I laughed about it at the time
  8. John....

    What are you listening to?

    "Would You Mind"
  9. I love a softer red lip on her, the recent tour had such a strong red it was a bit much softer tones here and there accentuate Janet's beauty
  10. "this is brand new hair right?" yea I think so
  11. I'm lovin Janet in a skirt, her stylist is getting her to do things she doesnt normally branch out into
  12. John....

    Serious topic

    actually no kidding the NS hotline put me on hold
  13. John....

    Serious topic

    I miss some of the people I met in treatment but with the exception of one or two none of them stayed in touch like we said we would
  14. the eye brows were too high I think otherwise he does a great job
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