Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
John....

If someone hurt you in the past....

Recommended Posts

and they contact you saying they've changed and you find out they have fallen on hard times. Do you trust this person? I mean they say their sorry and they can't believe how bad they were to you, I mean is this person worth your time?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Trust with caution...if all of a sudden they start asking for stuff then you need to think twice. Also, you can forgive, but doesn't necessarily mean they come back into your life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Bailey. said:

and they contact you saying they've changed and you find out they have fallen on hard times. Do you trust this person? I mean they say their sorry and they can't believe how bad they were to you, I mean is this person worth your time?

I'd say no, unless you still love them and want to give it another shot. Otherwise... too bad for that person. It shouldn't take coming into hard times to realize how you've treated someone. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well... NEVER :lol: I'm way too extreme when it comes to trust. Once you break it you'r pretty much dead to me. Don't call don't text don't do shit cuz your gonna get ignored for life.  

This:

2 hours ago, vibeology said:

Trust with caution...if all of a sudden they start asking for stuff then you need to think twice. Also, you can forgive, but doesn't necessarily mean they come back into your life.

is the right answer tho. I think that you should trust with caution and take it from there. Forgive but don't forget cuz that will avoid you getting hurt a second time. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, Utopia said:

Well... NEVER :lol: I'm way too extreme when it comes to trust. Once you break it you'r pretty much dead to me. Don't call don't text don't do shit cuz your gonna get ignored for life.  

This:

is the right answer tho. I think that you should trust with caution and take it from there. Forgive but don't forget cuz that will avoid you getting hurt a second time. 

I would never hurt you honey. -_- 

Unless you wanted me to. :shifty: 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

well it turns out hard times mean he's been diagnosed with HIV a few years ago, he is no longer employed he lives at his parents vacation home, he is on food assistance, Medicaid, and is currently on his second appeal for disability based on his HIV status, bi-polar disorder, depression and manic disorder as well. I do not feel love for him at all.  He says he's sorry about what happen but this was almost 8 years ago. I wonder does he even remember all the things he did

this is the only place I can talk freely about this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Horny Braxton said:

I would never hurt you honey. -_- 

Unless you wanted me to. :shifty: 

oooohhhhhhhhh atually... I would :shifty:

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, Bailey. said:

well it turns out hard times mean he's been diagnosed with HIV a few years ago, he is no longer employed he lives at his parents vacation home, he is on food assistance, Medicaid, and is currently on his second appeal for disability based on his HIV status, bi-polar disorder, depression and manic disorder as well. I do not feel love for him at all.  He says he's sorry about what happen but this was almost 8 years ago. I wonder does he even remember all the things he did

this is the only place I can talk freely about this

Maybe it's an AA type of thing where he's making amends. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Bailey. said:

well it turns out hard times mean he's been diagnosed with HIV a few years ago, he is no longer employed he lives at his parents vacation home, he is on food assistance, Medicaid, and is currently on his second appeal for disability based on his HIV status, bi-polar disorder, depression and manic disorder as well. I do not feel love for him at all.  He says he's sorry about what happen but this was almost 8 years ago. I wonder does he even remember all the things he did

this is the only place I can talk freely about this

But what are his motives exactly? Is he doing it for him or for you?! Is he doing it cuz he wants to feel better about himself or cuz he thinks that he was unfair to you and that you should deserve an apology? 

He should talk to you without expecting anything in return. His life falling apart shouldn't be a factor on what you should do tbh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think he’s doing it for himself he’s alone most of the time in some ways it does sound like making a mends but he doesn’t want to talk about the past let’s just start fresh he says which again is convenient for him

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Bailey. said:

I think he’s doing it for himself he’s alone most of the time in some ways it does sound like making a mends but he doesn’t want to talk about the past let’s just start fresh he says which again is convenient for him

VERY. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Bailey. said:

I think he’s doing it for himself he’s alone most of the time in some ways it does sound like making a mends but he doesn’t want to talk about the past let’s just start fresh he says which again is convenient for him

Well fuck him then.  

Doesn't want to talk about the past but wants to use his present to make you feel some sort of "guilt" and stay with him. AS IF.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
24 minutes ago, Bailey. said:

well it turns out hard times mean he's been diagnosed with HIV a few years ago, he is no longer employed he lives at his parents vacation home, he is on food assistance, Medicaid, and is currently on his second appeal for disability based on his HIV status, bi-polar disorder, depression and manic disorder as well. I do not feel love for him at all.  He says he's sorry about what happen but this was almost 8 years ago. I wonder does he even remember all the things he did

this is the only place I can talk freely about this

Maybe those things contributed to how they treated you in the past - they existed but hadn't been diagnosed. You don't have to let them completely into your life...start by supporting from a far if you want.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I keep coming back to the time I talked to my mom about Charlie Sheen and Two and a Half Men, you see she loved that show and she would watch it over and over I think she had a thing for Charlie :lol:  well as we all know Charlie went ape shit and said some terrible things about the crew of that show, then he later apologized. So I ran to my mom excited and told her hey Charlie apologized now he could come back maybe......to which my mother said "John, the kind of things Charlie said and did once done can't be taken back"

I keep going around in circles, the things that happen between us were so bad you just can't

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m with  @vibeology on this one. Be cautious and protect yourself first. If he is genuine and wants to make amends that’s fine but make sure he knows what it is he is sorry for and not just saying sorry for sorrys sake. I don’t know how he treated you in the past but his diagnosis now could explain his past behaviour in which case he wasn’t wholly responsible for his actions. But make sure he isn’t the type to be sh!tty and blame it on his mental health.

Bottom line is it’s up to you and you don’t have to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable with and if that’s the case then tell him that.

Why did your Mum call you John???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Bailey. said:

and they contact you saying they've changed and you find out they have fallen on hard times. Do you trust this person? I mean they say their sorry and they can't believe how bad they were to you, I mean is this person worth your time?

hmm this is a good question. Some people can say this because they have no other option and just need someone to be their so they can get on their feet and once that happens then they forget you were even there for them. Then again they may actually mean what they say and probably have changed. Sometimes it takes a person to lose everything to appreciate what they have or had. Both situations have happened to me before. My ex did the same thing and said he changed. He hit rock bottom and he was cool for a minute but as soon as he got a job and money again he went back to his shenanigans. Now he's rock bottom again and I ain't got time. I had another friend Rafiel who I no longer talk to and haven't talked to for maybe 4yrs now. Any way the last time we talked he did say he changed and regretted how he wasn't a good friend to me. I felt he was sincere but I was just no longer interested in having a friendship with him. As i've gotten older and i'm sure he's matured more i'd talk to him but I still wouldn't wanna hang out with him as much.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Amy said:

I’m with  @vibeology on this one. Be cautious and protect yourself first. If he is genuine and wants to make amends that’s fine but make sure he knows what it is he is sorry for and not just saying sorry for sorrys sake. I don’t know how he treated you in the past but his diagnosis now could explain his past behaviour in which case he wasn’t wholly responsible for his actions. But make sure he isn’t the type to be sh!tty and blame it on his mental health.

Bottom line is it’s up to you and you don’t have to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable with and if that’s the case then tell him that.

Why did your Mum call you John???

My first name is Johnie I’m a jr so I’m named after my dad she calls me John 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, JoeJoe said:

hmm this is a good question. Some people can say this because they have no other option and just need someone to be their so they can get on their feet and once that happens then they forget you were even there for them. Then again they may actually mean what they say and probably have changed. Sometimes it takes a person to lose everything to appreciate what they have or had. Both situations have happened to me before. My ex did the same thing and said he changed. He hit rock bottom and he was cool for a minute but as soon as he got a job and money again he went back to his shenanigans. Now he's rock bottom again and I ain't got time. I had another friend Rafiel who I no longer talk to and haven't talked to for maybe 4yrs now. Any way the last time we talked he did say he changed and regretted how he wasn't a good friend to me. I felt he was sincere but I was just no longer interested in having a friendship with him. As i've gotten older and i'm sure he's matured more i'd talk to him but I still wouldn't wanna hang out with him as much.

its more like he's alone and Im alone so we spend time hanging out drinking, eating and sleeping, we haven't approached sex though, Im not sure if he's afraid or doesn't want to but it doesn't happen, which is fine too because I'm rarely horny nowadays .....as long as he can be real and respectful I'll hang around its not terrible like before I just know when hes done with me he's done like eventually his family will be around

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cheat, lie, manipulate, insult, ignore only concerned about himself didn’t try nearly as much as I did with the relationship he was an ass when he acted like he didn’t give a fuck it wasn’t an act

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
24 minutes ago, Bailey. said:

Cheat, lie, manipulate, insult, ignore only concerned about himself didn’t try nearly as much as I did with the relationship he was an ass when he acted like he didn’t give a fuck it wasn’t an act

Vague but have you forgave him?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
33 minutes ago, State of the Game said:

Vague but have you forgave him?

yes forgiveness was for me, besides if I had more backbone maybe he would have acted better. I cannot forget there are a few moments that stand out in my mind, he really didn't respect me for who I was, you cant go around thinking everyone that isn't like yourself isn't worth a damn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Bailey. said:

its more like he's alone and Im alone so we spend time hanging out drinking, eating and sleeping, we haven't approached sex though, Im not sure if he's afraid or doesn't want to but it doesn't happen, which is fine too because I'm rarely horny nowadays .....as long as he can be real and respectful I'll hang around its not terrible like before I just know when hes done with me he's done like eventually his family will be around

well that sounds cool. It's always good to spend time with someone you care for. Now if he needs help with anything tell him you can help with anything except something that has to do with money just so he'll know right off the bat what you're about this time around.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×