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Sorry to bump an old thread but this is a really important topic.

I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember and I was depressed for a good few years. I discovered that writing was a really helpful tool for me to clear my head but it wasn't enough to get me out of my funk.

The only treatment I've received was short-term and in a group setting, which turned out to be a really valuable experience for me. It gave me a great deal of insight into why and how I'd built certain barriers throughout my life that were keeping me from achieving some sense of normality I'd desperately craved. The hardest pill for me to swallow was that a lot of it was my own doing, but what that meant for me was that I had the power to change it, which was, well, empowering. I still have work to do (after all, we're all works in progress) but I'm in a far, far better place and I'm capable of managing the day-to-day stuff now. My friends have been an amazing support system these past two years, and I couldn't have made it this far without them.

I'm a mental health professional myself (I only just graduated so it's still a really weird thing to say :lol: ) so obviously I'm going to recommend seeking help to anyone going through it. There's all kinds of treatments for different issues, and all kinds of personalities working in the field, so I suggest doing your research to try to find the best fit, if you're motivated enough to. Mental health in the States is kind of in a precarious place right now but you'll find that more and more therapists are implementing sliding scales to reach anyone who might be otherwise shut out. And I apologize for sounding like a PSA but I just want to add that the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is open 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255 for anyone in immediate need. You can also text HOME to 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line if you prefer.

I know I said a lot but if there's anything to take away from my post, it's that life is fucking hard and support is crucial. I bumped this thread because I think it could potentially be a great outlet for us or anyone in need to see that they aren't alone.

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I miss some of the people I met in treatment but with the exception of one or two none of them stayed in touch like we said we would

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7 hours ago, God said:

Sorry to bump an old thread but this is a really important topic.

I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember and I was depressed for a good few years. I discovered that writing was a really helpful tool for me to clear my head but it wasn't enough to get me out of my funk.

The only treatment I've received was short-term and in a group setting, which turned out to be a really valuable experience for me. It gave me a great deal of insight into why and how I'd built certain barriers throughout my life that were keeping me from achieving some sense of normality I'd desperately craved. The hardest pill for me to swallow was that a lot of it was my own doing, but what that meant for me was that I had the power to change it, which was, well, empowering. I still have work to do (after all, we're all works in progress) but I'm in a far, far better place and I'm capable of managing the day-to-day stuff now. My friends have been an amazing support system these past two years, and I couldn't have made it this far without them.

I'm a mental health professional myself (I only just graduated so it's still a really weird thing to say :lol: ) so obviously I'm going to recommend seeking help to anyone going through it. There's all kinds of treatments for different issues, and all kinds of personalities working in the field, so I suggest doing your research to try to find the best fit, if you're motivated enough to. Mental health in the States is kind of in a precarious place right now but you'll find that more and more therapists are implementing sliding scales to reach anyone who might be otherwise shut out. And I apologize for sounding like a PSA but I just want to add that the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is open 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255 for anyone in immediate need. You can also text HOME to 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line if you prefer.

I know I said a lot but if there's anything to take away from my post, it's that life is fucking hard and support is crucial. I bumped this thread because I think it could potentially be a great outlet for us or anyone in need to see that they aren't alone.

That was fucking beautiful! No need to apologize!

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5 hours ago, John.... said:

actually no kidding the NS hotline put me on hold :sigh:

oh my!

was this before or today you called?

 

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On 6/23/2018 at 5:53 AM, vibeology said:

oh my!

was this before or today you called?

 

before, it was such a shit time for me that sometimes the only way to make it thru is to laugh about it......I'm like these mofos got me on hold, do they not know this is probably the one line you really dont want someone on hold, so I laughed about it :lol:  at the time

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Just now, John.... said:

before, it was such a shit time for me that sometimes the only way to make it thru is to laugh about it......I'm like these mofos got me on hold, do they not know this is probably the one line you really dont want someone on hold, so I laughed about it :lol:  at the time

giphy.gif

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1 minute ago, Game For Now said:

giphy.gif

I'll be True Me and that means open and honest to a fault, I have a pair of industrial scissors I bought from home depot they can pretty much cut anything. I kept going back to that scene in "12 Reasons Why" where Hanna slit her wrists, I thought that would be a bit much and if I made it thru one arm will I not freak out from that sight and not cut the other? Calling NS hotline was simply an attempt to have someone to talk to, I don't want to end my life now, and didnt then, I want to have a better life, one with true support. BUT as it stands I dont have any friends, Im an introvert and I dont trust too much anymore I shut down. I guess that's why I dont even have sex anymore, I've been celibate before for a year,  now Im at 6 months, its not about sex, its about connection, and I'm not finding it, and when I try it fails. I do own some responsibility because I didnt vet those guys very well before trying to integrate them into my world. A meth head, a bipolar whore ...I mean really? :sigh:  at least now I can say I recognize the kind of guys I would work best with meaning guys like me educated not into the gay bar scene and not whores nor are they about drugs, I mean someone not only with goals but a plan to achieve them

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when I was in treatment I do remember one counselor she was young and pretty, but super professional and extremely focused on providing quality care. We had group meetings with her where we would openly discuss our problems, and she said right at the start "okay close that door we're going to sit here talk and listen and cut the bullshit" ....she was not playing and she kept it on point, she told me about my ex saying "that's an abusive relationship" in her mind I could tell from the way she spoke that that was not only not acceptable it would never be a consideration to attempt working that out. I just never thought about how bad things were with him, and several people have informed me to cut any and all ties with him permanently dont ever speak to nor see him again

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On 5/14/2018 at 8:23 AM, vibeology said:

shoot maybe I am depressed cuz its been like that recently

so I just left the apartment, I see that getting out into fresh air and seeing people walking around doing shit just sparks something inside of me, I cannot imprison myself in here. Its not healthy to not get out

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3 hours ago, John.... said:

I'll be True Me and that means open and honest to a fault, I have a pair of industrial scissors I bought from home depot they can pretty much cut anything. I kept going back to that scene in "12 Reasons Why" where Hanna slit her wrists, I thought that would be a bit much and if I made it thru one arm will I not freak out from that sight and not cut the other? Calling NS hotline was simply an attempt to have someone to talk to, I don't want to end my life now, and didnt then, I want to have a better life, one with true support. BUT as it stands I dont have any friends, Im an introvert and I dont trust too much anymore I shut down. I guess that's why I dont even have sex anymore, I've been celibate before for a year,  now Im at 6 months, its not about sex, its about connection, and I'm not finding it, and when I try it fails. I do own some responsibility because I didnt vet those guys very well before trying to integrate them into my world. A meth head, a bipolar whore ...I mean really? :sigh:  at least now I can say I recognize the kind of guys I would work best with meaning guys like me educated not into the gay bar scene and not whores nor are they about drugs, I mean someone not only with goals but a plan to achieve them

I’m not sure why you quoted me.

Sorry to hear about all this.

You shouldn’t trust people who are meth, crack, coke, etc heads. That’s common knowledge.

You also shouldn’t judge people for going to gay bars, guys with a high sex drive or guys with a mental illness 

The show is called “13 Reasons Why”. 

Try calling that number 

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4 hours ago, Game For Now said:

I’m not sure why you quoted me.

Sorry to hear about all this.

You shouldn’t trust people who are meth, crack, coke, etc heads. That’s common knowledge.

You also shouldn’t judge people for going to gay bars, guys with a high sex drive or guys with a mental illness 

The show is called “13 Reasons Why”. 

Try calling that number 

I'm not sure why you quoted me in the first place go back and check yourself .......you cannot find decency in yourself to simply move on, sometimes its just not the place to say any of the things you did, but that would be too much like common sense this is a thread devoted to those of us who wish to converse over a "serious topic" not post laugh gifs  your existence to antagonize others says a great deal about who you are.....if you cannot conduct yourself in a respectful manner you will be reported, let this be the first, only and last warning to you regarding any more commentary on what you think... :filenails: also for futher clarity the meth head hide that side of who he was from me, if you're going to nit pick my posts make sure you have all your facts together, that part was made clear, secondly my ex uses his bipolar diagnosis to do a lot of heavy lifting for his otherwise shit personality

 

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"Also, responding to anyone in this thread by calling them silly is really gross and won't be tolerated. I said this thread would be respectful and if you're going to act like "Game" in here I will report you."  Author Horny Braxton

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2 hours ago, John.... said:

I'm not sure why you quoted me in the first place go back and check yourself .......you cannot find decency in yourself to simply move on, sometimes its just not the place to say any of the things you did, but that would be too much like common sense this is a thread devoted to those of us who wish to converse over a "serious topic" not post laugh gifs  your existence to antagonize others says a great deal about who you are.....if you cannot conduct yourself in a respectful manner you will be reported, let this be the first, only and last warning to you regarding any more commentary on what you think... :filenails: also for futher clarity the meth head hide that side of who he was from me, if you're going to nit pick my posts make sure you have all your facts together, that part was made clear, secondly my ex uses his bipolar diagnosis to do a lot of heavy lifting for his otherwise shit personality

 

I quoted you with a GIF muffling a laugh ??‍♂️ 

Theres nothing to move on from ??‍♂️??‍♂️ 

Where was I disrespectful ??‍♂️??‍♂️ Please quote me where I was disrespectful. I’ll wait 

All the facts? Like I know your life (or like I care). I just shared a simple fact: meth, crack, coke heads are bad news. That’s human fact. That’s the only fact I need to know. 

Can’t blame no body but you. ??‍♂️ 

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10 hours ago, Game For Now said:

I quoted you with a GIF muffling a laugh ??‍♂️ 

Theres nothing to move on from ??‍♂️??‍♂️ 

Where was I disrespectful ??‍♂️??‍♂️ Please quote me where I was disrespectful. I’ll wait 

All the facts? Like I know your life (or like I care). I just shared a simple fact: meth, crack, coke heads are bad news. That’s human fact. That’s the only fact I need to know. 

Can’t blame no body but you. ??‍♂️ 

as he said there is a time and place to nitpick on things. I doubt you'll understand.

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17 hours ago, John.... said:

so I just left the apartment, I see that getting out into fresh air and seeing people walking around doing shit just sparks something inside of me, I cannot imprison myself in here. Its not healthy to not get out

im glad that works for you. it sometimes is the opposite for me, especially when the weather is good and everyone seems to be having a great time. I like the sun but I also love the rain and grey days. rain or water scenery relaxes me so much...

20 hours ago, John.... said:

I'll be True Me and that means open and honest to a fault, I have a pair of industrial scissors I bought from home depot they can pretty much cut anything. I kept going back to that scene in "12 Reasons Why" where Hanna slit her wrists, I thought that would be a bit much and if I made it thru one arm will I not freak out from that sight and not cut the other? Calling NS hotline was simply an attempt to have someone to talk to, I don't want to end my life now, and didnt then, I want to have a better life, one with true support. BUT as it stands I dont have any friends, Im an introvert and I dont trust too much anymore I shut down. I guess that's why I dont even have sex anymore, I've been celibate before for a year,  now Im at 6 months, its not about sex, its about connection, and I'm not finding it, and when I try it fails. I do own some responsibility because I didnt vet those guys very well before trying to integrate them into my world. A meth head, a bipolar whore ...I mean really? :sigh:  at least now I can say I recognize the kind of guys I would work best with meaning guys like me educated not into the gay bar scene and not whores nor are they about drugs, I mean someone not only with goals but a plan to achieve them

 it feels like your taking positive steps, just by choosing celibacy I cant help but think that someone of a similar mindset will come your way.

I agree about the connection thing. I've been recently  thinking maybe being gay is 'wrong' because most men are wired the same and we all need balance. Why is it so many men are going through this?

 

P.S - I still aint read True You - is it worthwhile?

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"True You" is worth understanding the origins of how some of us came to feel inadequate and in that sense it's good. There is time spent on how to diet and eat appropriately too

I think men are going through this because many of us do not know how to connect with one another unless its romantic, or sexual. The bar scene is dying in a lot of places including here, because guys that are not out or dont do bars have apps now. The last time I was in a bar it shocked me to see so many guys on their phones, they dont even look up anymore

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2 hours ago, vibeology said:

as he said there is a time and place to nitpick on things. I doubt you'll understand.

I’m not sure you read my post or just agreeing bc you have nothing better to do. Either way.. I didn’t nitpick ??

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4 hours ago, Game For Now said:

I’m not sure you read my post or just agreeing bc you have nothing better to do. Either way.. I didn’t nitpick ??

I did read your post...maybe its how your saying it as opposed to what your saying. that's the last ill speak on the matter.

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6 hours ago, John.... said:

"True You" is worth understanding the origins of how some of us came to feel inadequate and in that sense it's good. There is time spent on how to diet and eat appropriately too

I think men are going through this because many of us do not know how to connect with one another unless its romantic, or sexual. The bar scene is dying in a lot of places including here, because guys that are not out or dont do bars have apps now. The last time I was in a bar it shocked me to see so many guys on their phones, they dont even look up anymore

the last two times id been to a bar it actually seemed quite sociable...once here in London, then Paris. I very rarely do bars...im just not sure it makes a difference anymore. People need to be prepared to put in the effort but everything feels so disposable now. Like if you cant be cool around someone for several weeks b4 having sex, I think that's a good test.

Discipline, now matter how shit the album is, is the key to everything. 

Ill probably buy a 2nd hand copy of True You :ph34r: funny enough I recall two instances from my childhood and teen years which I now attribute to not really liking attention, similar to Janet.

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20 hours ago, John.... said:

I'm not sure why you quoted me in the first place go back and check yourself .......you cannot find decency in yourself to simply move on, sometimes its just not the place to say any of the things you did, but that would be too much like common sense this is a thread devoted to those of us who wish to converse over a "serious topic" not post laugh gifs  your existence to antagonize others says a great deal about who you are.....if you cannot conduct yourself in a respectful manner you will be reported, let this be the first, only and last warning to you regarding any more commentary on what you think... 

 

18 hours ago, Game For Now said:

I quoted you with a GIF muffling a laugh ??‍♂️ 

in all  fairness I don't think the intention was to antagonize with GIF. I also wanted to respond regarding you being put on hold, but didn't know what was appropriate. its funny but not at the same time.

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5 minutes ago, vibeology said:

 

in all  fairness I don't think the intention was to antagonize with GIF. I also wanted to respond regarding you being put on hold, but didn't know what was appropriate. its funny but not at the same time.

It wasn’t. The intention was to lighten the mood and to join on the laughter. I was laughing WITH Bailey... Not at him

I’m not an asshole... I’m not a bad person. I neither laugh at the expense of mental health in others nor judge someone for their health.

The fact that a suicide hotline put him on hold is fucked up but since he laughed at it, I figured it would be safe to laugh with him. I was wrong.

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2 hours ago, vibeology said:

the last two times id been to a bar it actually seemed quite sociable...once here in London, then Paris. I very rarely do bars...im just not sure it makes a difference anymore. People need to be prepared to put in the effort but everything feels so disposable now. Like if you cant be cool around someone for several weeks b4 having sex, I think that's a good test.

Discipline, now matter how shit the album is, is the key to everything. 

Ill probably buy a 2nd hand copy of True You :ph34r: funny enough I recall two instances from my childhood and teen years which I now attribute to not really liking attention, similar to Janet.

I asked this guy I used to chat with on Grindr, we never met and he was actually cute, but what worked with him is he was so smart and I could talk to him, he was really well off so I kinda felt like not meeting him because it felt like he was outta my league, but one day we were talking about this subject of men and why no one wants this or that and he told me the reason why is "because of the ease with which we can replace one another" I'm like that doesn't involve so many important things getting to know someone on a deeper level. I actually miss talking to that guy, he hit me up and we just chatted and it kept going for weeks and he and I agreed it was good talking so he gave me his number.

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1 hour ago, Game For Now said:

It wasn’t. The intention was to lighten the mood and to join on the laughter. I was laughing WITH Bailey... Not at him

I’m not an asshole... I’m not a bad person. I neither laugh at the expense of mental health in others nor judge someone for their health.

The fact that a suicide hotline put him on hold is fucked up but since he laughed at it, I figured it would be safe to laugh with him. I was wrong.

I didnt believe you intended to be malicious so with that said ....let's all carry on ...I mean at the time it was sooo fucked up yes I laughed :lol: "hey I'm thinking of offing myself .......hold please" :mellow:

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