vibeology Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 Well? Do you have a paternal/maternal desires? Could you fathom raising a child with someone of the same sex? Im half and half - I feel a pressure because my parents don't have any grandkids and there is an element of me that feels the line should be carried on. As I get older, I wonder if I will desire that extra fulfilment that parenting supposedly gives. At the same time, the idea of "giving up your life for another" seems a little grim. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VelvetKnowledge1814 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 I'm 50/50 too. On one hand, I think I'd make for a great dad, but I don't see myself raising a child alone or with another man. I think I'll be satisfied being an uncle (whenever that happens). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 I’ve had moments in my life that I wanted a son or daughter to teach what I know and take care of and love him or her unconditionally. Then there’s times where I’m selfish af and hate people and a mini-me would kill me. So I’ll take cats for $300. Thx 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidfresh832 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 I feel like I want no more than two, boy and a girl but I don't know...at one point I thought I wanted a big family because my family isn't really close at all, not me and my brother, and my mother aren't close either, Im not close to my dad at all but we all grew up in the same home I was told that I'm too old to have a big family it would be too much. I haven't a clue about being a parent, and often times I wonder if I would be good. My therapist said all a kid needs is love, Ima call bullshit on dat though Plus I need to understand why I want to have a child, why am I thinking that? I think its because I want to leave a legacy or sum shit but I don't understand the draw, I don't get any "right" reason to have a child ...I mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 1 hour ago, vibeology said: Well? Do you have a paternal/maternal desires? Could you fathom raising a child with someone of the same sex? Im half and half - I feel a pressure because my parents don't have any grandkids and there is an element of me that feels the line should be carried on. As I get older, I wonder if I will desire that extra fulfilment that parenting supposedly gives. At the same time, the idea of "giving up your life for another" seems a little grim. Im completely with you, I feel like Im not continuing the line AND I know my mom wants grandkids but that aint no reason to have em 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 The world is going to absolute shit, its kinda cruel to bring a kid into this shit because let's all take a moment and reflect on that plus times are different now its a LOT harder to raise a kid today than say when I was coming up. Back then my parents at a very young age had decent to good paying jobs and entered the ranks of the lower-middle class easily. My dad at 24 worked for GM had a house and a car. Now that shit is harder to achieve and a kid to the mix? fuck it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 1 hour ago, VelvetKnowledge1814 said: I'm 50/50 too. On one hand, I think I'd make for a great dad, but I don't see myself raising a child alone or with another man. I think I'll be satisfied being an uncle (whenever that happens). my pastor, was married to a guy and they adopted two black girls, they got divorced so now my pastor (who is white) is a single gay parent raising two black girls ....let that one cook ya noodle 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 I could see if you're Janet Jackson, and even there it's a maybe because they divorced and can't stand each other, ...BUT being wealthy makes shit easier...it's like Oprah said about money it makes life easier not better....my point is if I had cooks, nannies, tutors, maid service, I could announce European dates and shit cause I actually got it like dat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vibeology Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 35 minutes ago, Rocknet said: The world is going to absolute shit, its kinda cruel to bring a kid into this shit because let's all take a moment and reflect on that plus times are different now its a LOT harder to raise a kid today than say when I was coming up. Back then my parents at a very young age had decent to good paying jobs and entered the ranks of the lower-middle class easily. My dad at 24 worked for GM had a house and a car. Now that shit is harder to achieve and a kid to the mix? fuck it It seems kids aint even raised in family homes now...I mean do most parents even make it the distance of at least 18 years together. Shit is so disposal now. Or is it even needed? As long as both parents are creating a positive influence in a childs life, is that all that matters? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vibeology Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 28 minutes ago, Rocknet said: my pastor, was married to a guy and they adopted two black girls, they got divorced so now my pastor (who is white) is a single gay parent raising two black girls ....let that one cook ya noodle I wanna laugh but...fuck it I thought I was one of the few that were opposed to same sex couples raising kids. Each to their own, but its not for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vibeology Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 44 minutes ago, Rocknet said: Im completely with you, I feel like Im not continuing the line AND I know my mom wants grandkids but that aint no reason to have em You don't have siblings? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 13 minutes ago, vibeology said: You don't have siblings? I have one brother two years younger than me at 41, who hasn't had a job in over 15 years, lives with mom, and barely finished high school, I would prefer he not breed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 1 hour ago, vibeology said: It seems kids aint even raised in family homes now...I mean do most parents even make it the distance of at least 18 years together. Shit is so disposal now. Or is it even needed? As long as both parents are creating a positive influence in a childs life, is that all that matters? its something to be said about the ying and yang in real time of a family dynamic I don't see that many portrayals of families where there aren't two parents. I was raised in a home with two parents, does that mean its the only way? No but it sure did something ....I wouldn't want to be in a battle of no pics of my son, and no this and no that, and Im calling the police, and we going back to court....chile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 4 hours ago, vibeology said: I wanna laugh but...fuck it I thought I was one of the few that were opposed to same sex couples raising kids. Each to their own, but its not for me. I dont think you have to worry too much about same sex couples raising kids, at least not with men, especially the younger ones, they seem to be very much about fucking and not much substance. Even when two guys do fall for one another, kids are not a part of the equation or even a consideration...when you're gay it takes a lot more to have a kid ...well obviously but you get the idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vibeology Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 23 hours ago, Game For Now said: I’ve had moments in my life that I wanted a son or daughter to teach what I know and take care of and love him or her unconditionally. Then there’s times where I’m selfish af and hate people and a mini-me would kill me. So I’ll take cats for $300. Thx Do you have siblings? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vibeology Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 17 hours ago, Rocknet said: I dont think you have to worry too much about same sex couples raising kids, at least not with men, especially the younger ones, they seem to be very much about fucking and not much substance. Even when two guys do fall for one another, kids are not a part of the equation or even a consideration...when you're gay it takes a lot more to have a kid ...well obviously but you get the idea Unfortunately, I do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vibeology Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 21 hours ago, Rocknet said: its something to be said about the ying and yang in real time of a family dynamic I don't see that many portrayals of families where there aren't two parents. I was raised in a home with two parents, does that mean its the only way? No but it sure did something ....I wouldn't want to be in a battle of no pics of my son, and no this and no that, and Im calling the police, and we going back to court....chile I agree but that's what I mean about being a positive influence...that includes being able to separate any issues you have with your ex partner and focusing on the needs of the child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vibeology Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 22 hours ago, Rocknet said: I have one brother two years younger than me at 41, who hasn't had a job in over 15 years, lives with mom, and barely finished high school, I would prefer he not breed. hmmm...I wanna ask but I wont. but its really interesting how different siblings can be, even though raised in the same environment. There is 10/9 years between me an older brothers and we are all very different Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 6 hours ago, vibeology said: hmmm...I wanna ask but I wont. but its really interesting how different siblings can be, even though raised in the same environment. There is 10/9 years between me an older brothers and we are all very different he is my only brother, I have a half brother my dad had with another woman before he met my mom. The other woman wanted nothing to do with my father, she wanted her son and took him and moved to Illinois, my dad seemed fine with that. Now as for my family history my parents were married for 30 years, both my full brother and I were raised together, but we are very different people, I think there are a lot of factors to what makes us different, one thing I think that inadvertently made us even more different is our parents used to dress us alike, so much so people thought we were twins, and we were not he's two years younger. I think he wanted his own identity that wasn't based on trying to live up to my potential. That sort of things breeds resentment and bitterness you may ask what you like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 6 hours ago, vibeology said: I agree but that's what I mean about being a positive influence...that includes being able to separate any issues you have with your ex partner and focusing on the needs of the child. the child will always question how come my birth parents cannot share the same space without some shit....how come my parents are not together and Im shuffled from one place and one person's ideas to another...THAT WILL ALWAYS BE AN ISSUE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 14 hours ago, vibeology said: Do you have siblings? I’m the youngest of three Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utopia Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 No thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeJoe Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 I love kids and I spoil my family and friends kids. I used to want kids in my 20s but not now. I think I wanted kids back then cause I wasn't too social and didn't travel a lot like I do now. Now it's my life's dream to travel the world and definitely can't with kids. I still love kids but JoeJoe ain't got time to raise none plus i'm old now lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VelvetKnowledge1814 Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 On 1/23/2019 at 8:02 PM, Rocknet said: I have one brother two years younger than me at 41, who hasn't had a job in over 15 years, lives with mom, and barely finished high school, I would prefer he not breed. Why hasn't your brother been productive in 15 years, if you don't mind my asking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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