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State of The XXV Address - Self-Review

Game For Now

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In case you didn't read it before, here's the transcript:

Reinventing myself for my 25th birthday in 7 days.

Ten years ago I will admit that I contemplated committing suicide. Being confused of my orientation really hurt. I was lost.. I was weak.. I was a boy. I held a bottle of pills and really thought about it... I never opened that bottle but I still held it in my hands... What if I did it.. What if I went through with it. I would have missed out on sooo much.. My first niece being born... My 3 nephews (and niece) would be without an uncle... my legacy would be stories of who I was perceived as.. not who I really was... Right now I look back on that moment... and I smile... because I lived it and learned from it. It gets better.

I was once the most powerful and still the most influential member on this forum because I ran Janet's official forum years ago. I don't miss that, I don't want that position back even if they paid me but I'm glad I got to experience that for myself. I'm glad I got to see the Goddess, not once.. but twice!

I feel as though I haven't accomplished much in 25 years... yeah I found love. Something I've been dreaming about... Crying myself to sleep over it during my teenage life... but I still have more to accomplished. I feel as though I'm a late bloomer.. That my time hasn't came yet.

I have my proud moments and I have my not-so-proud moments but I can say this: I love myself... I truly love myself.. 10 years ago I couldn't say that... 5 years ago, I was learning to love myself... but today.. next week.. next month... I will continue to love me. I found my "True You".

I crossed some things out.. That's what I want to comment on.. I have dreamed about it.. and cried about it but the relationship I had wasn't something I truly wanted. I felt to dependent on my other half... it wasn't equal like I wanted it in my dreams.



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