Lock your doors, hide your bowls and scissors

[Utopia]

The good sis Alicia is out there looking for a trim

Celebrities — they’re just like us! They get schwastey in the Hamptons and stumble into the wrong vacation house! And just like us, they don’t realize the error until someone COMES DOWNSTAIRS AND TELLS THEM.

Since that happens to all of us on a fairly regular basis, I figure I might as well explain who I’m talking about in this particular instance — it’s Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz! The two of them rented a home on Flying Point Road in the Water Mill section of the Hamptons at the end of the summer, and they decided to bring back a big group of people for a late night party. All reasonable so far, until…

“They were confused and accidentally entered the wrong house.”

I mean, yeah! Yes. That could happen to anyone. You’re walking into your house that you understandably left locked, since everyone in the Hamptons has too many diamonds already, so there’s no chance of theft. Maybe you get into the kitchen and you’re like “Where are my appliances? Where are my food? Where are my kitchen?”, but you have guests over, and you don’t want to be rude. Or maybe you don’t notice anything until a stranger comes downstairs to investigate.

“There was a woman upstairs in the bedroom at the house, and she heard noises downstairs. The woman’s daughter, a recent college grad, and her friends had been ‘pregaming’ earlier in the night before going out, so she assumed that the noise was that they’d all returned home. [instead she found] a number of strangers, men and women, in her kitchen. She was startled.”

SHE WAS STARTLED. Not terrified. Startled. There is a party of strangers in your house, but you are a woman of the Hamptons, and a woman of the Hamptons never allows herself to be anything above startled. We’re not animals.

“At first she was a little freaked out, but it turned out it was Swizz and Alicia and their entourage. They’d rented a house nearby.”

Ahahaha, what fun! Not only strangers, famous strangers! We’re all having such fun! Oh how we laughed and laughed! Walking into a mansion without recognizing it as not yours? What an easy mistake to make! Let’s come back to the Hamptons again next year for more saucy hijinks.

[Aquaria]

You're an idiot for that title

[hotboy06]

:lmao:

At least this is believable..

[bu.]

That pic tho

[EphraimAdamz]

wow

[lexus97]

that haircuts needs some curls then it would look much better

[Reyna ♔]

One of the worst cuts I've ever seen