Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Babe, its all part of their games they know what gets to u its manipulative, and theyre taking advantage of ur weakness and vulnerabilities once u get into their minds, ull see whats going on if u can put urself in 3rd person (like an outsider looking in), ull see the real picture But u cant have ur cake and eat it too...ur staying because u want that emotional attachment to the babies...u cant do that baby and it'll just become a hot mess a lot of this will reflect u and ur issues too..u need self love/self respect (like others have mentioned).. and uve already touched on ur childhood/family issues they do and use it against you I learned to not tell my ex my fucking life story cause all that shit came back to me like diarrhea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--- Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 No need to say "im complaining"... ur allowed and u should be free to say what u want thats something uve also learnt along the way....curbing ur emotions and what u really want we're not annoyed with u and its certainly not whinging Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
art Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 girl you are not stupid......Im glad we made peace....do you...you have a fierce spirit and that shit is gonna make mofos stay away that can't hang and others sooooo attracted to you they might wanna be you +1 Aw! Thanks, sweetie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 Babe, its all part of their games they know what gets to u its manipulative, and theyre taking advantage of ur weakness and vulnerabilities once u get into their minds, ull see whats going on if u can put urself in 3rd person (like an outsider looking in), ull see the real picture But u cant have ur cake and eat it too...ur staying because u want that emotional attachment to the babies...u cant do that baby and it'll just become a hot mess a lot of this will reflect u and ur issues too..u need self love/self respect (like others have mentioned).. and uve already touched on ur childhood/family issues I'm listening. Kinda shakes you up when you first hear it, you know? But I'm going to follow this advice and break up with her. I've been bouncing between relationships and I know that isn't good. I haven't really found comfort in who I am. Least of all under this roof. I gotta prepare for college next year and moving out of here. I gotta start focusing. I can hear my grandparents know. Especially abuela. If she wouldn't be going off on my parents for what they're doing, she'd be propping up my spine to get me to remember I have a backbone. That "I have her blood in me, so I better not let anyone belittle me. No matter who they are or how close they are" haha. *sighs* Holding on is hard to do when the love is gone. My, my, my. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Aw! Thanks, sweetie! honestly Janet fans are the best, beautiful I have been in shock after her shows I went to as to how many fans she has that are fucking hot. As for here we all family hell that's why I want as many folks at the reunion that can come . You cool gal plus we LOVE MADONNA TOO ive spent grands on that bitch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--- Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I'm listening. Kinda shakes you up when you first hear it, you know? But I'm going to follow this advice and break up with her. I've been bouncing between relationships and I know that isn't good. I haven't really found comfort in who I am. Least of all under this roof. I gotta prepare for college next year and moving out of here. I gotta start focusing. I can hear my grandparents know. Especially abuela. If she wouldn't be going off on my parents for what they're doing, she'd be propping up my spine to get me to remember I have a backbone. That "I have her blood in me, so I better not let anyone belittle me. No matter who they are or how close they are" haha. *sighs* Holding on is hard to do when the love is gone. My, my, my. Uve got the right head, and know what to do As Oprah says, "when u know better, u do better" in a few months, u won't even think about this bitch ull be like "who?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 It's not worth. Leave her. one last thing , in a decade you will regret the things you did not do more than those you did, so the lesson is live life, bad and good you learn...I did, I regret that I did not live more, I realize I am a great guy, that just did not have the confidence or swag, lol, to keep it moving, girl go do you and do it well ok do it well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 Uve got the right head, and know what to do As Oprah says, "when u know better, u do better" in a few months, u won't even think about this bitch ull be like "who?" Thanks to you guys. I really can;t thank you enough for taking the time to help me out. I really would be at a loss if I didn't open up about this. Haha, that's what I'm hoping for. I may have to block her number a while. Maybe 6 months. She's the type to constantly call and call. Bashing and otherwise. Since you seem to be a bit of an expert, how do you think I should go about it? I am polite and calm so a "Bitch, I'm Done" kinda of break up would sound totally out of character. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Uve got the right head, and know what to do As Oprah says, "when u know better, u do better" in a few months, u won't even think about this bitch ull be like "who?" u get another plus.....I cried so much that last show, not because I love fucking Oprah, I love truth, she came so simply yet eloquent, she said this is what I have learned and this is what I want to leave you with, I understood, so much....."I just wanted you to like me"....there is a lot in that ...for me learning had to be the hard way most of the time, but maybe im grateful I learned some folks don't ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Aw! Thanks, sweetie! another lesson too, stop worrying about what the fuck people think about you, because when you stop long enough to realize you have thoughts too, go fucking figure, you learn to see......yep....you learn to see what is and what the fuck aint...and guess what...there's a whole lot of aint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--- Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Thanks to you guys. I really can;t thank you enough for taking the time to help me out. I really would be at a loss if I didn't open up about this. Haha, that's what I'm hoping for. I may have to block her number a while. Maybe 6 months. She's the type to constantly call and call. Bashing and otherwise. Since you seem to be a bit of an expert, how do you think I should go about it? I am polite and calm so a "Bitch, I'm Done" kinda of break up would sound totally out of character. lol. It's ok, babe anytime Honestly...i wouldnt even do a breakup I'd just change my number, block her email etc, and don't speak to her anymore dont give this bitch anymore power over u u'll know what will happen when u try to break up with her...all of her tired games and please u get another plus.....I cried so much that last show, not because I love fucking Oprah, I love truth, she came so simply yet eloquent, she said this is what I have learned and this is what I want to leave you with, I understood, so much....."I just wanted you to like me"....there is a lot in that ...for me learning had to be the hard way most of the time, but maybe im grateful I learned some folks don't ever Is that what Oprah said in the finale????????? I thought u were referring to IIlyana Van Zant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--- Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 another lesson too, stop worrying about what the fuck people think about you, because when you stop long enough to realize you have thoughts too, go fucking figure, you learn to see......yep....you learn to see what is and what the fuck aint...and guess what...there's a whole lot of aint. yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dimpy Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 The best way to go about a breakup is always to be 100% honest. Even if it's harsh and you think it will hurt her feelings, you can't worry about that because in the end she will appreciate honesty and there won't be any questions in her mind about why and you won't have to feel guilty about anything in doing so, if you are just plain honest. It doesn't make you a bitch either, which some people seem to think. I know it's not easy but being entirely honest about it, and blunt, is the only fair way to do it for both of you. If she's hurt you. Tell her, even if it hurts her. You will probably immediately feel your power and control come back. It'll be worth it. Good luck mama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 It's ok, babe anytime Honestly...i wouldnt even do a breakup I'd just change my number, block her email etc, and don't speak to her anymore dont give this bitch anymore power over u u'll know what will happen when u try to break up with her...all of her tired games and please I owe you, big time. I voted all the posts of yours that I could with a +1. That's a start JBailey is next tomorrow But won't I seem like a bitch if I do this randomly? Especially if I don't say anything to the girls finally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--- Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I owe you, big time. I voted all the posts of yours that I could with a +1. That's a start JBailey is next tomorrow But won't I seem like a bitch if I do this randomly? Especially if I don't say anything to the girls finally. Who cares if ur a bitch This bitch is a cunt to u About the babies...I don't know... I don't know the emotional attachment, and can't relate I'm much more "get rid of them all" kinda person Maybe someone else can give u some advice on that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 The best way to go about a breakup is always to be 100% honest. Even if it's harsh and you think it will hurt her feelings, you can't worry about that because in the end she will appreciate honesty and there won't be any questions in her mind about why and you won't have to feel guilty about anything in doing so, if you are just plain honest. It doesn't make you a bitch either, which some people seem to think. I know it's not easy but being entirely honest about it, and blunt, is the only fair way to do it for both of you. If she's hurt you. Tell her, even if it hurts her. You will probably immediately feel your power and control come back. It'll be worth it. Good luck mama. If I had another +1 to give, it'd go to you. Thank you as well for this. Your excerpts have helped me as well. I really owe you guys. Thank you, love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I owe you, big time. I voted all the posts of yours that I could with a +1. That's a start JBailey is next tomorrow But won't I seem like a bitch if I do this randomly? Especially if I don't say anything to the girls finally. tommorrow I got work to do for school and Ima try an stay sober right now though? on da real I go two for 20 from Applebess and Im sipping on strawberry mango vodka from muh blender and......ohhhhhhhhh shit........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 tommorrow I got work to do for school and Ima try an stay sober right now though? on da real I go two for 20 from Applebess and Im sipping on strawberry mango vodka from muh blender and......ohhhhhhhhh shit........ Shhh boy. I tell you. Some of y'all 'round here :lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Shhh boy. I tell you. Some of y'all 'round here :lmao: like Mickey Dee's Im lovin it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Okay, well I've been dating this girl for a few months now. Though I've known her for a little over a year. We started out as friends but the friendship was rocky yet we still managed to stick it out and 8 months in we started dating. In all honesty, before we started dating, she put me through hell. Secrets I told her she told a friend of hers that I hate, she always brings up the dark painful moments of my past and is the type to always complain. There have been multiple times where I really wanted to end even the friendship. Part of my reason for still being around is that I have a deep connection with some of her family. Specifically her 2 little girl cousins. They're like my baby sisters, though the youngest calls me "mommy" because she isn't always comfortable around her real mom. Anywho, in less than a month, she and I broke up but stayed friends. She put on her best attitude, I mean Academy Award worthy, and ended up winning me back somehow. So now we're dating again and it's been 3 months, but she's back to her old self. We have entertainment interests in common, but hardly much as far as personality. Except for stubbornness. I really want to end this, but I don't wanna wreck the friendship or what I have with the girls. She thinks everything is cool, but I'm at my wit's end with her. The girls, Mattie and Cheyenne, really look up to me. I know I'm wrong for a major reason being that I mostly am with her for the girls, but I really love these girls. Just like they were really my family. I just don't know what to do. I'm gonna be gone for a few hours tonight. 'til about maybe 7-9 U.S. Eastern time. But if any of you can help, it'd be greatly appreciated. Thank you to any of you. I came back to read your story in more depth than I did last night. When someone treats you in a certain way, we establish patterns in our relationships, some good some bad. In this case it sounds like the whole foundation this relationship was built on was faulty. The children I can understand you wanting to be there, and you know there is only so much you can do especially if the other party is gonna be an ass. I learned from my ex to basically leave fucked up people alone you cannot change them and they will not change for you, or anyone else esp if they stubborn. Save yourself, you wanna to give those girls something good show them a role model of someone who is not a doormat and doesn't take shit from anyone, girls need that nowadays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 You guys are seriously the best. I honestly can't thank you enough. I'm gonna talk with her tonight and build to the break up. I'm not good with dealing with emotions, though. Like if she starts to cry or even looks like it, I get really uncomfortable. I HATE seeing women cry. Even when some put themselves in the position. I just hope I can break this down as easily as I can. She may be a little shocked because I've been dodging the negativity pretty well. But gotta do whhat's necessary, right? My ex was kinda good at this sorta thing, when something has no good spin to be placed on it, he would just say it as it is, to quote him "sugar coating gets nothing done." You're gonna have to spit the truth and let it be what it's gonna be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 She has her moments where she attempts to be. Like when she feels everything is going well, I play the doormat. But when I told her about 3 weeks ago that she was on the thinest ice, she's been trying to behave. Though it isn't working all too well, and it's basicaly at the point where some of even the smallest things annoy me. Like she has a habit of teasing me. I can deal with it moderately when I know it's a joke, but she starts going into the "No Fly" zone way too often. Plus, and this may be bad, but she plays a few trump cards whenever I get tense. Like her or her mother will bring up after I'm annoyed, and tell her so, that she's still coping with the death of her aunt that happened early 2010. Before I came along. Then I have a feeling of guilt because then I remember my own aunt and just... I'm a very sensitive young woman. really. My heart tends to control me and they know that. I don't wanna say manipulation but it feels like it often times. Plus something interesting, she gave an ultimatum-style love statement like "The only way my opinion of you would ever change is if you left me completely". Harmless at first, but if you think about it, and with all the times I've been there for her, it isn't right. Plus she refers to ALL of her exes as being jerks or asses and I have a feeling I may be referred to the same way if I go. I mean the one constant in each of those relatonships is her. So... you are being emotionally abused and manipulated, been there too. Somehow it's never their fault and they will twist the shit to being your doing. Those kinda people we all need to stay far away from and recognize them from a far. I remember laying in bed next to my ex, and he was going in on me, "you say you're going to go to professional school, but when are you even going to take your entrance exam?".....just your basic "you aint shit and it makes me feel better to put you down" so after the breakup, I talked to him only a few times and saw him 3 times after, I told him I was in school and working towards my career, you wanna know what he said "I think those schools are just taking those kids money" I could have kicked him in his ass, I really could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 UPDATE!: Okay, so I split up with her earlier today. She just said a regrettful "okay", walked away, and went to her room. I stayed to talk with her mother a while. She seemed much more disappointed in her than she did with me. But I still felt a little tension from her. A good plus side is that I get to talk to the girls on the major holidays plus my birthday. Without her. So I'm not entirely upset. I'm starting to feel a little more...free. Independent. Not "take on the world" confident. But I'm at a good enough start. So thank you to the 5 of you for taking the time to talk with me and advise me. You guys are the best. I love my Rhythm Nation family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 UPDATE!: Okay, so I split up with her earlier today. She just said a regrettful "okay", walked away, and went to her room. I stayed to talk with her mother a while. She seemed much more disappointed in her than she did with me. But I still felt a little tension from her. A good plus side is that I get to talk to the girls on the major holidays plus my birthday. Without her. So I'm not entirely upset. I'm starting to feel a little more...free. Independent. Not "take on the world" confident. But I'm at a good enough start. So thank you to the 5 of you for taking the time to talk with me and advise me. You guys are the best. I love my Rhythm Nation family When I was kinda still going thru the "feelings" and shit I had a professor in Psychology tell me that I was doing good because I left him, and that was a good step, she also said that is his lost and that people like that are their own worst enemy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 When I was kinda still going thru the "feelings" and shit I had a professor in Psychology tell me that I was doing good because I left him, and that was a good step, she also said that is his lost and that people like that are their own worst enemy. That makes sense. It just takes a little getting used to when it comes to readjustment. Sometimes. Oh well. It'll be good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.