bu. Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 good for you, I'm kinda half assing it but I am doing something making bigger moves for the better so I'm cool....classes started and they lost like 7 students that said the program wasn't for them or they had personal issues and left, I was like this shit aint a good look for that school, we only admit 40 Forget the school. You're not there anymore are you - don't give them your thoughts or energy. what was wrong though? What got you all bothered? I went into detail a few pages back but to summarise: 1) Unemploymemt 2) Lifelong family drama 3) Death of grandfather 4) Death of another family member amongst other things. But I'm over it...for now lol. What's done is done - it isn't going to come back. I need to stop focusing on what happened to me and focus on what I can do for myself and take myself. If I surround myself with positive things, I'm gonna gain prosperity. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Forget the school. You're not there anymore are you - don't give them your thoughts or energy. I went into detail a few pages back but to summarise: 1) Unemploymemt 2) Lifelong family drama 3) Death of grandfather 4) Death of another family member amongst other things. But I'm over it...for now lol. What's done is done - it isn't going to come back. I need to stop focusing on what happened to me and focus on what I can do for myself and take myself. If I surround myself with positive things, I'm gonna gain prosperity. I remember all that stuff you can get another job maybe a better one, and families are filled with drama, sorry you lost family just don't lose you...sometimes thats all we have and you have to love yourself enough to take care of you. Its easier said than done though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrietta. Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 That is so weird I've never heard of that... are you eating again like normal? I need to go on some kind of cleanse too... and like a vision quest in the desert lol Well I was never really a bitch but now I'm a bitch to people who deserve it, so I guess we are on the same page. Mine was like a quest for me to find out the truth for myself. I was taking a shower and while washing my hair, I closed my eyes and a Jesus-like figure on a cross appeared. He was looking up so I titled my head up and saw a long haired guy standing over a huge gate entrance. I instantly opened my eyes and jumped out the shower. It kept bothering me that I read and analyzed the Bible, and it ended up making me see that all religion is bad. A couple of days ago I went to some random church and asked a pastor questions after questions, and I saw right through him (the last time I did that I was about 7 and questioned the church about giving them money if the love of money is evil. What got me this time around was ppl bringing stress around my bf (he had a stroke, and I'm eliminating all the negative things that affect him), and they would use being family as an excuse for ppl to put up with it. I basically stripped them of whatever title they had, and gave them walking papers. I felt bad at first, but he thanked me because no one else in his family would step up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrietta. Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Do you know why this stuff is happening to you? Like maybe you being tested? It took me a lil while, but I figured it out. I was being tested, and it forced my spiritual journey to start. I asked my older brother if he was spiritual and he tried to tell me to learn about African Spiritually. This is exactly what I told him: Fuck that African shit you're on...I'm looking for something that will benefit all humans, not just one set of humans because they decided to only focus on and support individuals based off ignorant interests. That led me back to the Bible, and I went back to like I was as a child,, and only focused on what God (10 commandments) and Jesus said....I'm not here for others talking for them. Maybe your body was craving iron.....did you fast totally or just cut back? What did you eat if you did? At first I tried to do a fast, but gave that up probably 20 days in. Then I started cutting back and went back to eating grilled/baked meats, veggies, and started eating rice again. That blood craving hit on the 40th day, and that's when I was like "wtf ". I'm not gonna kill something just to taste the blood...maybe if I became a supernatural being, but not as a human lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Mine was like a quest for me to find out the truth for myself. I was taking a shower and while washing my hair, I closed my eyes and a Jesus-like figure on a cross appeared. He was looking up so I titled my head up and saw a long haired guy standing over a huge gate entrance. I instantly opened my eyes and jumped out the shower. It kept bothering me that I read and analyzed the Bible, and it ended up making me see that all religion is bad. A couple of days ago I went to some random church and asked a pastor questions after questions, and I saw right through him (the last time I did that I was about 7 and questioned the church about giving them money if the love of money is evil. What got me this time around was ppl bringing stress around my bf (he had a stroke, and I'm eliminating all the negative things that affect him), and they would use being family as an excuse for ppl to put up with it. I basically stripped them of whatever title they had, and gave them walking papers. I felt bad at first, but he thanked me because no one else in his family would step up. I bet you were one helluva a child....your shit sound spirtual....I asked God for just some hope, so I will keep going. You seem to have a strength about you and I imagine it gets in the way sometimes, more than you want. But it sounds like this time you used it right. Yo BF must be worth something you stay going for him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 It took me a lil while, but I figured it out. I was being tested, and it forced my spiritual journey to start. I asked my older brother if he was spiritual and he tried to tell me to learn about African Spiritually. This is exactly what I told him: Fuck that African shit you're on...I'm looking for something that will benefit all humans, not just one set of humans because they decided to only focus on and support individuals based off ignorant interests. That led me back to the Bible, and I went back to like I was as a child,, and only focused on what God (10 commandments) and Jesus said....I'm not here for others talking for them. At first I tried to do a fast, but gave that up probably 20 days in. Then I started cutting back and went back to eating grilled/baked meats, veggies, and started eating rice again. That blood craving hit on the 40th day, and that's when I was like "wtf ". I'm not gonna kill something just to taste the blood...maybe if I became a supernatural being, but not as a human lol. I don't know what to say to that, you searching for the meaning of it all, while at the same time I'm finding out I dated two atheists, and I am like how in the world do they think that and why did I not see they thought that? It made me question God, like are you there? Ima need you to show it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquaria Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Mine was like a quest for me to find out the truth for myself. I was taking a shower and while washing my hair, I closed my eyes and a Jesus-like figure on a cross appeared. He was looking up so I titled my head up and saw a long haired guy standing over a huge gate entrance. I instantly opened my eyes and jumped out the shower. It kept bothering me that I read and analyzed the Bible, and it ended up making me see that all religion is bad. A couple of days ago I went to some random church and asked a pastor questions after questions, and I saw right through him (the last time I did that I was about 7 and questioned the church about giving them money if the love of money is evil. What got me this time around was ppl bringing stress around my bf (he had a stroke, and I'm eliminating all the negative things that affect him), and they would use being family as an excuse for ppl to put up with it. I basically stripped them of whatever title they had, and gave them walking papers. I felt bad at first, but he thanked me because no one else in his family would step up. Craving blood, seeing Jesus, this sounds like the beginning of a horror movie Yeah I feel you on that, it blinds people to what is truly important, which boils down to minding your own fucking business and taking care of your own shit. Wow I'm sorry I think you did the right thing. I hope your bf is doing better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Craving blood, seeing Jesus, this sounds like the beginning of a horror movie Yeah I feel you on that, it blinds people to what is truly important, which boils down to minding your own fucking business and taking care of your own shit. Wow I'm sorry I think you did the right thing. I hope your bf is doing better. we all going thru something...I know his story had me wondering if he was high Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I will be glad Obama gets re-elected that to me will be a good thing for 2012. Its not over yet Im in talks to return to nursing school at another better school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I had to remember to forgive people, because when you don't that shit can eat you alive, I have several White women that I need to forgive for wanting to kick off in they ass sumthin proper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquaria Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I had to remember to forgive people, because when you don't that shit can eat you alive, I have several White women that I need to forgive for wanting to kick off in they ass sumthin proper Mm forgiveness is big That's truly healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Mm forgiveness is big That's truly healing. it's not easy, but I already know its for me not for them. I have this one instructor that was talking shit about me and I didn't know until another student told me, she kinda runs the mouth so if I wanna know the biz, all i do is call her and put the phone on speaker. I was like why didn't you tell me she said that shit before now? I would have had her ass in academics for sexual discrimination. But whatver like Bu said fuck them hoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 so back to Henry is your Bf doing better now? It sounded like you had to clean house Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrietta. Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I bet you were one helluva a child....your shit sound spirtual....I asked God for just some hope, so I will keep going. You seem to have a strength about you and I imagine it gets in the way sometimes, more than you want. But it sounds like this time you used it right. Yo BF must be worth something you stay going for him I was good most of the time unless someone (child or adult) did me wrong. That strength pisses me off a lot of times. I just gotta learn how to put it to good use. I don't know what to say to that, you searching for the meaning of it all, while at the same time I'm finding out I dated two atheists, and I am like how in the world do they think that and why did I not see they thought that? It made me question God, like are you there? Ima need you to show it. I questioned God too, and was like "Why would he send his only child here to die?" Then as I kept reading and analyzing, I figured out that it was the humans at the time that killed him as a sacrifice thinking it would get them closer to heaven. Then I analyzed Holy Communion, called it out for what it is....spiritual cannibalism, and moved on. So then I started putting myself in that position and said there's no way I would put myself in a position to be a sacrificed for ignorance. Then I looked at our time compared to around when Jesus appeared (Moses getting the Jews out of slavery and with us it was Lincoln), and figured Jesus is probably coming back soon. Finally I looked at humanity as a whole, and figured out that if he does come back he (and God) would be pissed that he's death was for nothing...his preachings and teachings aren't applied to life. And throughout time of humanity, ignorance lasted because it found its way into religion. I would start a church, but don't feel like I (a 24 y.o.) should do so since history would repeat itself. Craving blood, seeing Jesus, this sounds like the beginning of a horror movie Yeah I feel you on that, it blinds people to what is truly important, which boils down to minding your own fucking business and taking care of your own shit. Wow I'm sorry I think you did the right thing. I hope your bf is doing better. It does. I should write the movie. YES! Along with don't getting folks who already got shit going on in your own personal problems because their problems really aren't problems...it's just a case of grown ups not wanting to continue to grow. Thank you. He's doing way way better than he was a year ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Forget the school. You're not there anymore are you - don't give them your thoughts or energy. I went into detail a few pages back but to summarise: 1) Unemploymemt 2) Lifelong family drama 3) Death of grandfather 4) Death of another family member amongst other things. But I'm over it...for now lol. What's done is done - it isn't going to come back. I need to stop focusing on what happened to me and focus on what I can do for myself and take myself. If I surround myself with positive things, I'm gonna gain prosperity. That's a great attitude to have. It seems like your break when you went away to Europe helped you to have a more positive attitude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrietta. Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 we all going thru something...I know his story had me wondering if he was high I wasn't high. However after dealing with that, I had to smoke a blunt. In response to your "you had to learn how to forgive ppl" post: That was my thing too. But the thing is I don't forget. That "Forgive and Forget" crap is a way ppl try to guilt you into allowing the same shit to happen again. My motto is "Forgive and Move On"...it's working better now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrietta. Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 so back to Henry is your Bf doing better now? It sounded like you had to clean house He's doing a whole lot better. The house is clean, and I'm gonna make sure it stays that way. His step mom is pissed because I told her I don't care about her or her problems, and go see a therapist since they get paid to hear her shit. His siblings told me not to feel bad because they all don't like her since she tries to make everyone take her side even if she's wrong. I told them she has 1 more chance with me before I shut the door on her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 He's doing a whole lot better. The house is clean, and I'm gonna make sure it stays that way. His step mom is pissed because I told her I don't care about her or her problems, and go see a therapist since they get paid to hear her shit. His siblings told me not to feel bad because they all don't like her since she tries to make everyone take her side even if she's wrong. I told them she has 1 more chance with me before I shut the door on her. you got shit going on in yo life for real.....my family we just don't fuck with each other thats our way of handling things I don't speak to u , u don't speak to me blah blah blah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrietta. Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 you got shit going on in yo life for real.....my family we just don't fuck with each other thats our way of handling things I don't speak to u , u don't speak to me blah blah blah That's how I am with a lot of ppl. With fam, I lay down ultimatums if they do something I don't like. If they do it again, then they don't hear from me again. I don't explain myself, I just cut ties and hold no regrets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 That's how I am with a lot of ppl. With fam, I lay down ultimatums if they do something I don't like. If they do it again, then they don't hear from me again. I don't explain myself, I just cut ties and hold no regrets. where da fuck did Pie go to? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bu. Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 I was reading an article yesterday of a woman and her friends who were accused of molesting her niece. Ch I swear the woman looked like Pie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I was reading an article yesterday of a woman and her friends who were accused of molesting her niece. Ch I swear the woman looked like Pie. don't do it Bu....I know a guy that is doing time for being a teacher fucking the kids...I always say don't fuck the kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bu. Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 don't do it Bu....I know a guy that is doing time for being a teacher fucking the kids...I always say don't fuck the kids I never said it was her . I said it looked like her! I don't understand what would possess a person to do such a thing. Is it really some sort of 'illness' or is it just evil? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I never said it was her . I said it looked like her! I don't understand what would possess a person to do such a thing. Is it really some sort of 'illness' or is it just evil? in this case it was poor judgment...he was 24 the sex was consensual and the "kids" were like 17 ....they "wanted something to happen" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrietta. Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 where da fuck did Pie go to? I spoke to her earlier this year, and she said she wasn't coming back since she kept getting suspended for calling "He whose name shall not be spoken" beast, but he got away with constantly calling her a bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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