My Control!

[bu.]

are all of ur aunts and uncles the same

maybe if it comes from someone else, theyd be more understanding

thats how they think sometimes

They're all cut from the same cloth. I'm not that close to my aunts or uncles though.

So you explicitly told your dad that you will leave because of the situation?

Yes. When they wake up one day and find me gone they shouldn't be surprised.

i think you should find a job first in the mean time since you live at home and work save as much money as you can and get some place to live. try to do it right so u dont end up back at home. its rough out there

It's harder than that though. The prospects in Manchester (where I live) are so bad. And I couldn't really apply for jobs anywhere else unless I'm there. Well I could but it'd be easier to be in th elocation. As it is I have a cousin / best friend who said she'd help me out until I get on my feet. I'm scared about things going wrong but I think it's a risk I need to take. If anything the thought og beign on the streets will motivate me even more. Plus I have contacts.

When I was 17 I joined the army

Uh..

Did what the drill sergeants said

And let my commander mold me

But that was long ago I'm in

CONTROL!

. I'm tempted to join the army .

[hotboy06]

:lmao: u fucking nut!!!

Once again, Janhova is the soundtrack to our lives!! Worship her!

[hotboy06]

I'm SO tempted to join the army . I have it in my blood.

You have relatives that were in?

[bu.]

Once again, Janhova is the soundtrack to our lives!! Worship her!

She is indeed!

[bu.]

You have relatives that were in?

Both my grandparents we int he army. One was even a POW and escaped. He got renumerations (is that the word?). My uncle stole the money and bought a new car when he died...karma bit him straight away as he crashed it on the way back from the car shop.

[XYZ]

how come weneva theres talk about the army and authority figures, we all get hard ons

...

before u up and leave, u should find ppl u can stay with

dont be silly and say ull leave on the streets

i thought u had work and stuff already lined up...oop

[bu.]

how come weneva theres talk about the army and authority figures, we all get hard ons

...

before u up and leave, u should find ppl u can stay with

dont be silly and say ull leave on the streets

i thought u had work and stuff already lined up...oop

My friends hooking me up with her friend. he has loads of properties and stuff so that shouldn't be a problem. But I can't sponge of them forever. I'm applying for jobs constantly so I'm hopinh I get my break.

[hotboy06]

She is indeed!

Both my grandparents we int he army. One was even a POW and escaped. He got renumerations (is that the word?). My uncle stole the money and bought a new car when he died...karma bit him straight away as he crashed it on the way back from the car shop.

Is it restitution?

OMG.. I know it's not funny, but Karma is a bitch!

The military isn't for everyone..but alot of people joined, especially during the recession..it's just different reasons for joining..and some definitely join because of the their family.

[bu.]

Is it restitution?

OMG.. I know it's not funny, but Karma is a bitch!

The military isn't for everyone..but alot of people joined, especially during the recession..it's just different reasons for joining..and some definitely join because of the their family.

YES Restitutions!

Chile I'm still mad at him. He's a fucker than needs to die . Not only does he scar me for life but he went and spent my inheritance money . Karma has bitten him too many times

[hotboy06]

YES Restitutions!

Chile I'm still mad at him. He's a fucker than needs to die . Not only does he scar me for life but he went and spent my inheritance money . Karma has bitten him too many times

It maybe reparations..shit, I get the jist of what you're saying..

Damn, well he deserves everything that has happened to him..

[XYZ]

YES Restitutions!

Chile I'm still mad at him. He's a fucker than needs to die . Not only does he scar me for life but he went and spent my inheritance money . Karma has bitten him too many times

omg

ur whole family is a mess

[bu.]

It maybe reparations..shit, I get the jist of what you're saying..

Damn, well he deserves everything that has happened to him..

I'm glad you get me haha. Thats the main thing

omg

ur whole family is a mess

For real . They from pakistan ...thats how they roll I guess.

[hotboy06]

I'm glad you get me haha. Thats the main thing

For real . They from pakistan ...thats how they roll I guess.

I was going to ask your nationality..

[bu.]

I was going to ask your nationality..

!

[hotboy06]

!

[XYZ]

[J.]

When I was 17, I did what people told me

Did what my father said, and let my mother mould me

But that was long ago

1986 saw the 'birth' of one of Pops greatest visionaries ever, Janet Jackson. The baby of the Jackson family came with the album that separated the puppets from the masters, Control. OK so it was her 3rd album but quintessentially it was the one that brought her to the forefront and made her the icon she is today. The title track is almost anthematic in the sense that it shows exactly how she managed to separate herself from her family in order to achieve what she did. She was 20 years old.

I’m 21 (22 next week). I still live at home with my family. I didn’t go away to university like normal people do. Instead I commuted from my parents’ home every single day on a 3 hour bus journey. I wasn’t a part of any societies as I had no time for them. I couldn’t socialise as much as I wanted because I was on a tight schedule. The bus only ran once an hour and the last bus was sometime around half 5 when most students would probably be waking up. Long story short...I missed out on having a great university experience. The one I always dreamed about.

I’ve always missed out on a lot. I remember when I was about 5 years old I asked if I could go to a birthday party I had been invited to by a classmate. I was refused. ‘Pakistanis don’t go to parties’. I think my mother even hit me for even asking. Well ok then. Pakistanis don’t go to parties. But I’m not Pakistani. I have a British passport.

All my life I’ve lived in this bubble that my parents put me in. No socialising. Don’t talk to anybody. We don’t’ go to anyone’s house unless they come to ours. You’re not allowed out. Don’t leave the garden. Eat this. Sit down. Stop talking. Shut up. Just be quiet. Eat this. No you can’t go out. SHUT UP. Get lost. Leave me alone. Shut up you basket/brat/twat/cunt/idiot/fatty. Just sit down and shut up.

I’ve lost track of what I’m even talking about. Anyway I had a depressing childhood basically. I hated it. I could go on and on about my childhood but I won’t. There’s too much drama and angst. All I know is that when a 7 year old contemplates suicide, then you know something’s up. I can’t remember how many times I tried running away from home. My family always found it amusing. I didn’t. Are they that dumb to realise I wasn’t happy? Was I ever asked why? Nope. And to be honest I can’t quite remember myself.

Those 3 years at uni were so fucking depressing. I hated not being able to take part in all the events and stuff which make up uni. Instead I was living in the comfort of my parents as per usual. Now that I’ve graduated I’m STILL at home with my parents, working for my father’s accountancy firm. When I couldn’t get a job in the 2 weeks after I graduated (because it really takes that long to find a job during a recession) I was told to work with my dad until I found something.

I did find something. My mother wasn’t too happy about it though. In her ideal world her sons will keep on working with the family business with no prospects of living a better life. Well fuck that. I’m not earning £250 a week (not even on the books so I’d be evading tax all my fucking life). And they expect me to start a family on hat? Fuck that. These first generation immigrant Asians are fucked up to the core.

I’m tired of being broken hearted. I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of being walked on. I’m tired of that bitch going through my things and snooping through my stuff and not giving me any fucking privacy. I’m tired of not being able to go out without feeling guilty. I’m tired of always living a lie. I’m tired of living in complete darkness. I’m tired of being unhappy all the time. I’m tired of always sacrificing my happiness for others. I’m tired of other people telling me what I should do, who I should talk to, what I should eat, where I’m allowed to go out etc. This is MY life and it’s time I took control.

I spent the last 21 years fearing breaking out and being me. Well not anymore. Yes I’m scared about being poor, or living on a street if it comes to that but I know I’ll be happy in knowing that I’m no longer being dictated too. This is my fucking life. MINE. They’ve lived theirs so why can they not let me live mine?

I know they’ll never let me leave voluntarily. And if I do then they’d disown me. Well I welcome that if it means I’m free. I’m planning on leaving. Call it running away if you want. For me...it’s a journey. A journey of self-discovery. I want to “find myself” whatever that may be. I’m not living my life for anybody else any more. This is about me! And it’s time I took control.

This June I’m out of here. I’m going to go and see Janet and let her sermon lift me up. After that I will search every inch of London trying to hunt her down so I can say hey etc. Then I’m going to fly out to America and visit some friends (and hopefully some board members). And then when I return to the UK I’m going to find a place to stay permanently rather than a friends sofa and get a job (hopefully the job market will have improved).

I couldn't imagine going through something like that and I can only imagine how scary it will be to have to jump out into the world on your own. But ultimately it needs to be done. Nothing is worth being that unhappy over. I, too, need to take control of my life, but instead of my family holding me back, it's myself. I hope everything works out.

[Selz]

When I was 17, I did what people told me

Did what my father said, and let my mother mould me

But that was long ago

1986 saw the 'birth' of one of Pops greatest visionaries ever, Janet Jackson. The baby of the Jackson family came with the album that separated the puppets from the masters, Control. OK so it was her 3rd album but quintessentially it was the one that brought her to the forefront and made her the icon she is today. The title track is almost anthematic in the sense that it shows exactly how she managed to separate herself from her family in order to achieve what she did. She was 20 years old.

I’m 21 (22 next week). I still live at home with my family. I didn’t go away to university like normal people do. Instead I commuted from my parents’ home every single day on a 3 hour bus journey. I wasn’t a part of any societies as I had no time for them. I couldn’t socialise as much as I wanted because I was on a tight schedule. The bus only ran once an hour and the last bus was sometime around half 5 when most students would probably be waking up. Long story short...I missed out on having a great university experience. The one I always dreamed about.

I’ve always missed out on a lot. I remember when I was about 5 years old I asked if I could go to a birthday party I had been invited to by a classmate. I was refused. ‘Pakistanis don’t go to parties’. I think my mother even hit me for even asking. Well ok then. Pakistanis don’t go to parties. But I’m not Pakistani. I have a British passport.

All my life I’ve lived in this bubble that my parents put me in. No socialising. Don’t talk to anybody. We don’t’ go to anyone’s house unless they come to ours. You’re not allowed out. Don’t leave the garden. Eat this. Sit down. Stop talking. Shut up. Just be quiet. Eat this. No you can’t go out. SHUT UP. Get lost. Leave me alone. Shut up you basket/brat/twat/cunt/idiot/fatty. Just sit down and shut up.

I’ve lost track of what I’m even talking about. Anyway I had a depressing childhood basically. I hated it. I could go on and on about my childhood but I won’t. There’s too much drama and angst. All I know is that when a 7 year old contemplates suicide, then you know something’s up. I can’t remember how many times I tried running away from home. My family always found it amusing. I didn’t. Are they that dumb to realise I wasn’t happy? Was I ever asked why? Nope. And to be honest I can’t quite remember myself.

Those 3 years at uni were so fucking depressing. I hated not being able to take part in all the events and stuff which make up uni. Instead I was living in the comfort of my parents as per usual. Now that I’ve graduated I’m STILL at home with my parents, working for my father’s accountancy firm. When I couldn’t get a job in the 2 weeks after I graduated (because it really takes that long to find a job during a recession) I was told to work with my dad until I found something.

I did find something. My mother wasn’t too happy about it though. In her ideal world her sons will keep on working with the family business with no prospects of living a better life. Well fuck that. I’m not earning £250 a week (not even on the books so I’d be evading tax all my fucking life). And they expect me to start a family on hat? Fuck that. These first generation immigrant Asians are fucked up to the core.

I’m tired of being broken hearted. I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of being walked on. I’m tired of that bitch going through my things and snooping through my stuff and not giving me any fucking privacy. I’m tired of not being able to go out without feeling guilty. I’m tired of always living a lie. I’m tired of living in complete darkness. I’m tired of being unhappy all the time. I’m tired of always sacrificing my happiness for others. I’m tired of other people telling me what I should do, who I should talk to, what I should eat, where I’m allowed to go out etc. This is MY life and it’s time I took control.

I spent the last 21 years fearing breaking out and being me. Well not anymore. Yes I’m scared about being poor, or living on a street if it comes to that but I know I’ll be happy in knowing that I’m no longer being dictated too. This is my fucking life. MINE. They’ve lived theirs so why can they not let me live mine?

I know they’ll never let me leave voluntarily. And if I do then they’d disown me. Well I welcome that if it means I’m free. I’m planning on leaving. Call it running away if you want. For me...it’s a journey. A journey of self-discovery. I want to “find myself” whatever that may be. I’m not living my life for anybody else any more. This is about me! And it’s time I took control.

This June I’m out of here. I’m going to go and see Janet and let her sermon lift me up. After that I will search every inch of London trying to hunt her down so I can say hey etc. Then I’m going to fly out to America and visit some friends (and hopefully some board members). And then when I return to the UK I’m going to find a place to stay permanently rather than a friends sofa and get a job (hopefully the job market will have improved).

I have a spare room (if my landlords will get off their arses and sort the mould out )

[bu.]

I have a spare room (if my landlords will get off their arses and sort the mould out )

You're not selling the room very well Selz !! I honestly appreciate the offer . I'll let you know what I decide to do.

[Selz]

You're not selling the room very well Selz !! I honestly appreciate the offer . I'll let you know what I decide to do.

Well I'm nothing if not honest It's Tunbridge Wells though, not London - but I think you knew that?

[bu.]

I couldn't imagine going through something like that and I can only imagine how scary it will be to have to jump out into the world on your own. But ultimately it needs to be done. Nothing is worth being that unhappy over. I, too, need to take control of my life, but instead of my family holding me back, it's myself. I hope everything works out.

It truly does need to be done. I can't go through life constantly being surveillance by my parents. I hope everything works out too. I meant what I said btw.

[Selz]

LMAO imagine your parents faces if you told them you were going to houseshare with a practicing Christian

[bu.]

Well I'm nothing if not honest It's Tunbridge Wells though, not London - but I think you knew that?

Haha I like honesty. Yeah I knew you went quite in London but wasn't sure where exactly you lived. Silly question but what's race relations like there? I keep thinking I'll end finding a place in an area I'm likely to get mugged or beat up . what about employment?

[bu.]

LMAO imagine your parents faces if you told them you were going to houseshare with a practicing Christian

That would be hilarious! Though they'd probably tell me to convert you to Islam or something

[J.]

It truly does need to be done. I can't go through life constantly being surveillance by my parents. I hope everything works out too. I meant what I said btw.

I'm trying to figure out what I would say to my mom lol