downeaznboi Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-majority-of-money-donated-at-church-doesnt,18765/ WASHINGTON—A shocking report released Monday by the Internal Revenue Service revealed that more than 65 percent of the money donated at churches across the world never reaches God. "Unfortunately, almost half of all collections go toward administrative expenses such as management, utilities, and clerical costs," said Virginia Raeburn, a spokesperson for the Lord Almighty, adding that another 25 percent of heavenly funding is needed just to cover payroll for the angelic hierarchy. "People always assume God is filthy rich, but they'd be surprised to learn His net worth is only around $8 million—and most of that is tied up in real estate." According to Raeburn, God currently has enough money saved to live comfortably throughout all eternity, but He may be forced to shutter a number of† under-performing religions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn1814 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-majority-of-money-donated-at-church-doesnt,18765/ WASHINGTON—A shocking report released Monday by the Internal Revenue Service revealed that more than 65 percent of the money donated at churches across the world never reaches God. "Unfortunately, almost half of all collections go toward administrative expenses such as management, utilities, and clerical costs," said Virginia Raeburn, a spokesperson for the Lord Almighty, adding that another 25 percent of heavenly funding is needed just to cover payroll for the angelic hierarchy. "People always assume God is filthy rich, but they'd be surprised to learn His net worth is only around $8 million—and most of that is tied up in real estate." According to Raeburn, God currently has enough money saved to live comfortably throughout all eternity, but He may be forced to shutter a number of† under-performing religions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 http://www.theonion....h-doesnt,18765/ WASHINGTON—A shocking report released Monday by the Internal Revenue Service revealed that more than 65 percent of the money donated at churches across the world never reaches God. "Unfortunately, almost half of all collections go toward administrative expenses such as management, utilities, and clerical costs," said Virginia Raeburn, a spokesperson for the Lord Almighty, adding that another 25 percent of heavenly funding is needed just to cover payroll for the angelic hierarchy. "People always assume God is filthy rich, but they'd be surprised to learn His net worth is only around $8 million—and most of that is tied up in real estate." According to Raeburn, God currently has enough money saved to live comfortably throughout all eternity, but He may be forced to shutter a number of† under-performing religions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Wonder Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 @ $8 million. But even if this story were true, it wouldn't surprise me none. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cnd Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 His net worth is only around $8 million—and most of that is tied up in real estate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 According to Raeburn, God currently has enough money saved to live comfortably throughout all eternity, but He may be forced to shutter a number of† under-performing religions. He betta not try it with Janhova's Witnesses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Wonder Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 He betta not try it with Janhova's Witnesses. He could never come for us and our savior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 He could never come for us and our savior. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotboy06 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 He could never come for us and our savior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatOtherFan Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 He could never come for us and our savior. You are going to hell!!!! :lmao: And so am I for laughing at your trifling ass :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonofBaldwin Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 This is hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 He could never come for us and our savior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janet.1814 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 *gasp* did Janhova just snatch his wig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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