Angela Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Okay You made a great point. And I thank you for sharing it with me. I hope someday I'll understand all of this. Oh well, the journey continues. I know it's kind of a bitchy thing for me to do But it will make sense as you get older Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dungeon Dragon Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Well long story short will make it like many others you've heard. For years, I've felt, out of place, with my gender. Since I was a child, really. It didn't get to the extent I felt I really needed to change until I hit my teens when I really started developing. I felt at least okay when I was young because I looked neutral and didn't know about sex so the lower half didn't matter to me at that time. But getting older now, and looking like what I'm not, which is a full woman is not for me. It'll be a gradual change since I'm still sorting through things. Starting with just the breast reduction, which in itself will be big. I'll be going from double D cup to a B cup, if you get the difference I know you're not American so the measuring system may be different for where you are But yeah, I'll be starting there, mostly to get people used to me looking different and then change more and more as time persists. Overall, I feel it'll be about a year and a half, two years for the full change. goodluck sweetheart ...... your going to be just fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janet.1814 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 I know it's kind of a bitchy thing for me to do But it will make sense as you get older angie btw u gave me a lot of online advice that really helped me thanks...smh back in the day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angela Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 angie btw u gave me a lot of online advice that really helped me thanks...smh back in the day How are you, love? You're welcome. And don't feel bad We all go through that time period, and for some it's more difficult than others. I'm glad that some of what I said was able to resonate in a positive manner for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janet.1814 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 How are you, love? You're welcome. And don't feel bad We all go through that time period, and for some it's more difficult than others. I'm glad that some of what I said was able to resonate in a positive manner for you im fine, i finally found the bf of my dreams im just focusing on finishing school now SMFH im soooo over college howz everything going 4 u? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dimpy Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Wow, big step. Like many others have said, it's very important to make sure this is absolutely what you want now, tomorrow, and the rest of your life. The only way to do that is really dig deep into understanding those feelings as well as having more experiences. A lot will change in your next few years, especially in going to college. Also, I do believe that most, if not all credible surgeons do require a year or so of intense therapy before doing a transitional surgery, or at least that's what I've heard...haven't done research. But, point being, it's something you should consider going back into, especially being so young. Believe me, therapy is a lot cheaper than the amount of surgeries you're thinking about having - it'd be good to do that first before anything else. Also, if you're worried about what your parents think about your bisexuality regarding this, there are a few things to consider: if they are disapproving of that, how do you think they will feel about a transition? This is where you need to think about what is best with you. And 2. in therapy everything is strictly confidential...you aren't obligated to tell anyone anything you don't feel comfortable doing. Hope some of this helps, and good luck on your journey to loving and finding yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 My ex moved away out of state, about a year after moving within 15 min of me, he (32) and his (21) BF moved together to Kansas City MO and I am devastated. I worked so hard to try to make it all work between us, and when he did nothing I felt no choice but to leave the relationship. Now I question how they last so long, Im told birds of a feather flock together, but I know my ex can be a mean asshole, so I doubt it's that much different. I hurt, I feel like no what I accomplish or have so far is good enough. I wanted love, to be loved, I think it's my fault I had so much love to give I gave it without any strings, just love me, and he didn't care. It's a mixed bag, with him gone now, he isn't anywhere near me, it's like the break is fresh but real, it feels like I must move on, I have to out do him, make more money, accomplish more, im insecure, I wasn't in my lane, I was with someone out of my lane, I don't find the right guys, I don't even look. Im mad and sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 I hurt today knowing, he's gone. some part of me thought if I just made myself so great he would see, but sometimes I see other guys and other options, problem is no one wants to be involved, guys run from commitment. Maybe Im co-dependent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 im just sad, and I wanted someone to talk to I know Henry gets things so I chose him, it was him or Paul but I don't want to bother anyone either, I should be happy I have a lot of challenges coming my way, I got into my professional program out of all those applicants, I am there. I have a lot of work ahead and so many people to meet. Why do I hold on sooo long after they obliviously dont give a fuck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janet.1814 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 I hurt today knowing, he's gone. some part of me thought if I just made myself so great he would see, but sometimes I see other guys and other options, problem is no one wants to be involved, guys run from commitment. Maybe Im co-dependent that's really unfortunate, but u will find & do better....it only made u a better person for the next man *plays Brandy's 'Who I Am"* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 that's really unfortunate, but u will find & do better....it only made u a better person for the next man *plays Brandy's 'Who I Am"* I think about that song a lot, it's weird we all go thu a lot of the same shit yet when we do we feel alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 i honestly think that u were made the way you were supposed to be made. if you became a man, would you still be bisexual, or would you just be gay? do you want to have children, or even give birth? I'm only 20 and when i was 17 i remembered thinking that i wanted 6 children, now i only want 2 ....i wanted to change sooo many things about myself, but in 3years i just grew to accept them..... im not sure of the right way to articulate this, but i just think that u r letting society let u feel as if you were born in the wrong body. There is nothing wrong with being a woman and not fitting into the stereotype of being a woman. Especially now-a-days the gender lines have become soooo blurred it's perfectly fine to be a bisexual woman that has both "masculine" and "feminine" tendencies. Anywho, i would give this a serious thought because it is a big step the most important thing is your happiness. I know @ 17, it seems like u may know everything or like u know what you really want, but ur taste is going to change every year. as you become older and learn more things, u might find that you start to feel differently.....u may also feel the same as you do now, but at least when u make that decision, you will have had years of thought (as a mature adult) put into this. I'll be bisexual regardless of what my gender is. I'm strongly attracted to both sexes. I'm open to the idea of children. That all depends on who I end up with. I don't want to be a single parent, so it'll be a decision made between whomever my partner is as the time and myself. You may very well be on to something. Spending my teen years with religious parents, you are taught and ingrained with the idea that there are NO gray areas,the least of all with gender. There's right and wrong, black and white, yes and no, good and bad, male and female. There's no inbetween or opposition to that. Then society does a similar thing where if you don't fit into a category, it means you need to change. So the options of what to do become so much more narrow and few. I don't feel I fit into a category. I'm right down the middle of the two. Man and woman/masculine and feminine. I just don't look the part with my body. That's where I get stuck. I've always been the one to know so much ahead of my time. Guess I needed some situation to keep me at age level, lol. Thank you I know it's kind of a bitchy thing for me to do But it will make sense as you get older Not really. I see where you're coming from, so you're right Wow, big step. Like many others have said, it's very important to make sure this is absolutely what you want now, tomorrow, and the rest of your life. The only way to do that is really dig deep into understanding those feelings as well as having more experiences. A lot will change in your next few years, especially in going to college. Also, I do believe that most, if not all credible surgeons do require a year or so of intense therapy before doing a transitional surgery, or at least that's what I've heard...haven't done research. But, point being, it's something you should consider going back into, especially being so young. Believe me, therapy is a lot cheaper than the amount of surgeries you're thinking about having - it'd be good to do that first before anything else. Also, if you're worried about what your parents think about your bisexuality regarding this, there are a few things to consider: if they are disapproving of that, how do you think they will feel about a transition? This is where you need to think about what is best with you. And 2. in therapy everything is strictly confidential...you aren't obligated to tell anyone anything you don't feel comfortable doing. Hope some of this helps, and good luck on your journey to loving and finding yourself Thank you so much, honey I know they'd never accept me either way. I just wish I knew of everything I need to at least try to get them to accept. But that's the journey I'm still on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janet.1814 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 I'll be bisexual regardless of what my gender is. I'm strongly attracted to both sexes. I'm open to the idea of children. That all depends on who I end up with. I don't want to be a single parent, so it'll be a decision made between whomever my partner is as the time and myself. You may very well be on to something. Spending my teen years with religious parents, you are taught and ingrained with the idea that there are NO gray areas,the least of all with gender. There's right and wrong, black and white, yes and no, good and bad, male and female. There's no inbetween or opposition to that. Then society does a similar thing where if you don't fit into a category, it means you need to change. So the options of what to do become so much more narrow and few. I don't feel I fit into a category. I'm right down the middle of the two. Man and woman/masculine and feminine. I just don't look the part with my body. That's where I get stuck. out of curiosity....can you give specific examples of these grey areas that u feel u fall into, or things that u do that make you feel like a man? oooh and as a bisexual woman that wants to transition into a bisexual man, are you currently attracted to gay men? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 out of curiosity....can you give specific examples of these grey areas that u feel u fall into, or things that u do that make you feel like a man? oooh and as a bisexual woman that wants to transition into a bisexual man, are you currently attracted to gay men? Well the way I dress is one. I love actual suits, loose jeans, and boxers just as much as I love dresses, skirts, and lingerie. I don't feel comfortable with a larger chest at all and I really want to make it smaller so I can be more neutral. I style my hair with both girl styles and guy cuts. I'm versatile, sexually, and I'm beyond comfortable with topping. Topping guys and girls. Something slightly stereotypical, but still applies nonetheless, I love leading relationships. I also gladly accept both pronouns, male and female, when it comes to me. Yes I am, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bu. Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Make sure you think long and hard before you commit to the transition because it is irreversible. Getting your breasts reduced is probably a good starting point seeing as it's something you'd like to do anyway. The only thing I'd suggest is to wait until you're in your 20s before making a final decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Make sure you think long and hard before you commit to the transition because it is irreversible. Getting your breasts reduced is probably a good starting point seeing as it's something you'd like to do anyway. The only thing I'd suggest is to wait until you're in your 20s before making a final decision. That's the plan. As it is now, I want neutral-ish ground. Androgyny. More than likely, it may stay that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bu. Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 That's the plan. As it is now, I want neutral-ish ground. Androgyny. More than likely, it may stay that way. I know what it's like having strict religious parents so I somewhat understand your situation. It does suck but at the end of the day you're in control of your life, nobody else. It's hard for parents to fathom that but it's the truth. If your parents love you then they'll accept you no matter what. If not then their God can deal with them. Harsh but it's how I look at it. Religious folks harp on about God being love but that seems to be thrown out the window when it comes to gays/bisexuals. If God is love then God loves gays too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 I know what it's like having strict religious parents so I somewhat understand your situation. It does suck but at the end of the day you're in control of your life, nobody else. It's hard for parents to fathom that but it's the truth. If your parents love you then they'll accept you no matter what. If not then their God can deal with them. Harsh but it's how I look at it. Religious folks harp on about God being love but that seems to be thrown out the window when it comes to gays/bisexuals. If God is love then God loves gays too. So true. I gave them up to their God years ago(long story). I just have a sensitivity complex that tries to keep me in their good graces, which I apparently can't match in any way. +1 for those last two lines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bu. Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 So true. I gave them up to their God years ago(long story). I just have a sensitivity complex that tries to keep me in their good graces, which I apparently can't match in any way. +1 for those last two lines. I know that feeling. It's like no matter what we do we just can't impress them or get their approval so we fight that little bit harder to get it. I've been going through with that for the last couple of years and it's lead to my depression too. I'm not after their approval anymore though. Lately I've just got this whole fuck you attitude and they're so taken aback by it that our relationship has somewhat improved. It's hard to explain lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 I know that feeling. It's like no matter what we do we just can't impress them or get their approval so we fight that little bit harder to get it. I've been going through with that for the last couple of years and it's lead to my depression too. I'm not after their approval anymore though. Lately I've just got this whole fuck you attitude and they're so taken aback by it that our relationship has somewhat improved. It's hard to explain lol. Exactly right. Improved? lol. Hmm, maybe it's because you kinda stood up to them that they just accept you now. is that about, right? I'm kinda interested in that lol. My mother has my grandmother's temper, but with entirely different goals. My grandmother was entirely protective of me, and always bucked against decisions my parents made regarding me. My grandfather, too. Religion was the biggest thing they challenged. They preferred me to be Deist, which I am. My parents picked Christianity. Oh the stories that resulted from that lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyna ♔ Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 You are such a prick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 i didn't know i quoted anyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrietta. Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Good luck with whatever your decision is. If you decide to do it, just make sure you're thinking about the long run, not just thinking about life right now. Don't want you to have any regrets years down the road. My ex moved away out of state, about a year after moving within 15 min of me, he (32) and his (21) BF moved together to Kansas City MO and I am devastated. I worked so hard to try to make it all work between us, and when he did nothing I felt no choice but to leave the relationship. Now I question how they last so long, Im told birds of a feather flock together, but I know my ex can be a mean asshole, so I doubt it's that much different. I hurt, I feel like no what I accomplish or have so far is good enough. I wanted love, to be loved, I think it's my fault I had so much love to give I gave it without any strings, just love me, and he didn't care. It's a mixed bag, with him gone now, he isn't anywhere near me, it's like the break is fresh but real, it feels like I must move on, I have to out do him, make more money, accomplish more, im insecure, I wasn't in my lane, I was with someone out of my lane, I don't find the right guys, I don't even look. Im mad and sad. I wanted to say this to you yesterday but I didn't want to come off cold hearted, but it's long overdue for you to get over that. Just because he managed to be in a relationship with someone else doesn't mean he could have made it work with you. And you don't have to "outdo" him, because in all honesty you will end up looking like a fool since it's clear he doesn't care about you or what you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janet.1814 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Well the way I dress is one. I love actual suits, loose jeans, and boxers just as much as I love dresses, skirts, and lingerie. I don't feel comfortable with a larger chest at all and I really want to make it smaller so I can be more neutral. I style my hair with both girl styles and guy cuts. I'm versatile, sexually, and I'm beyond comfortable with topping. Topping guys and girls. Something slightly stereotypical, but still applies nonetheless, I love leading relationships. I also gladly accept both pronouns, male and female, when it comes to me. Yes I am, lol. hmm to me it doesnt sound like u were born in the wrong body....it just sounds like thats who you are lol.........i dont see anything wrong with that, or finding someone to accept you just the way you are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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