Bailey Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Ok so I had a friend visit recently and he lives in Atlanta, we met up and he was telling me about Atlanta, I told him I would think you would easily find someone there, he said people there have so many options that keep things open to the extent no one wants to settle for one person because they're so busy looking for the next best thing. Now what got me was he even spoke of open relationships, and actually considered that an option. Now knowing all I know about him I was shocked to even hear the mention of open relationships being even on the table......So I ask a few things, does being in a big city actually work against relationships out of greed? And are we so sexual as gay men that the idea of monogamy simply isn't feasible? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquaria Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Try dating in New York Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 Try dating in New York Oh my friend has been there and he said he would never live there, which is funny to say because never having been to NY, I always thought it was the greatest city on Earth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Escapade Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 I think being in a big city screws up dating for everyone... or at least that's what I learned from television LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 Try dating in New York I guess Im being reflective, I would like to think at some point those of us that want to settle down can and will, I mean I know folks that aren't meant to be in relationships for various reasons, but it seems to me the rules of engagement out here are wayyyyyyy different than it was for our parents. Today its all about fucking, which ironically for me doesn't work anymore because the connection you get in a relationship, the level of intimacy is missing in a fuck. Are gay men just a bunch of non-committing fuck toys? I don't even know if a lot of gay dudes know how to go about sustaining a lasting relationship that is monogamous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 I think being in a big city screws up dating for everyone... or at least that's what I learned from television LOL I know right? Its as if all the things one is lead to believe about bigger and better is actually not that great in reality. I get it though, if its a buffet of hot people everywhere, folks want a piece of everything. I told my friend to not settle on an open relationship though, I just don't see that in him, I could see a lot of jealousy or feelings of inadequacy. My friend was telling me about how a guy will drive a BMW yet when he finally lets him visit his home its a piece of shit, like people front tough in big cities like they got it like that when they dont Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vibeology Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 I hear the same about Atlanta and I feel its the same over here in London. And i dont think its gay men that are sexual, just mainly men in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laveaux Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 every now and then you will find somebody here (Atlanta) that wants a relationship. Ive been in a good handful of relationships since Ive been here. Then again I do have some good creole voodoo boy pussy, so Im not serving the same fish as everybody else. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 every now and then you will find somebody here (Atlanta) that wants a relationship. Ive been in a good handful of relationships since Ive been here. Then again I do have some good creole voodoo boy pussy, so Im not serving the same fish as everybody else. I spot no lies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bu. Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 People my age around here seem to think they want to date but are really after a quick one night fling. It's so sad. Then they cry about being lonely. And let me not get into skin colour preference that I've been exposed to in the past 3 years. I thought living in the 21st century would mean my brown skin is no longer an issue but apparently so . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 People my age around here seem to think they want to date but are really after a quick one night fling. It's so sad. Then they cry about being lonely. And let me not get into skin colour preference that I've been exposed to in the past 3 years. I thought living in the 21st century would mean my brown skin is no longer an issue but apparently so . gay media is responsible for several things that keep gay men NOT getting laid. I recently read an article comparing gay sex in the 70's to modern tech such as Grindr and the like. What older gay men agree on is they had more sex in their day than gay men today are having. Why? because body fascism hadn't begun, back in the 70's it was rare to hear of a gay man belonging to a gym. Race is also another problem driven by gay media, they show highly sexualized imagery of a certain type of guy and folks buy into the mind washing idea that what gay media shows is how it should be, no diversity and certainly no one without a muscular physique. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 People my age around here seem to think they want to date but are really after a quick one night fling. It's so sad. Then they cry about being lonely. And let me not get into skin colour preference that I've been exposed to in the past 3 years. I thought living in the 21st century would mean my brown skin is no longer an issue but apparently so . so again Im inclined to believe kids out her today don't have the first clue about maintaining meaningful relationships for any significant duration. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarrylf Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I think it's just evolution taking place, marriage numbers are drastically down lower than they've ever been, the amount of college kids that admit to being in a open/fwb relationship increases Plain fact is monogamy just isn't for everybody, especially most men of all ages & races, and sexual prefferences. I think my generation and the generation below is growing up acknowledging that your "happily ever after" doesn't have to be marriage, hell as recent as the last 2 years I've had to evaluate what I want out of life, love & relationships in my future, and I can accept, being a bachelor all my life wouldn't exactly be miserable. I'd like someone who's my ideal girl/guy, but if it don't happen, oh well as long as I got good friends and my big ass close family, I'm set. I think the whole dating and looking for love concept/game has evolved, it's harder if thats what your after. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 I think it's just evolution taking place, marriage numbers are drastically down lower than they've ever been, the amount of college kids that admit to being in a open/fwb relationship increases Plain fact is monogamy just isn't for everybody, especially most men of all ages & races, and sexual prefferences. I think my generation and the generation below is growing up acknowledging that your "happily ever after" doesn't have to be marriage, hell as recent as the last 2 years I've had to evaluate what I want out of life, love & relationships in my future, and I can accept, being a bachelor all my life wouldn't exactly be miserable. I'd like someone who's my ideal girl/guy, but if it don't happen, oh well as long as I got good friends and my big ass close family, I'm set. I think the whole dating and looking for love concept/game has evolved, it's harder if thats what your after. Oh I agree its harder flat out, but if this is about a new reality where monogamy is less and less prevalent then I would also think the term "Ideal mate" is just as out of date as monogamy. Basically on the real, most people are not going to get their ideal, you're going to get maybe at best 80% of what you want from a mate and thats considered a good deal nowadays. My issue is the 6-8-9 rule, a lot of these dudes, and females too, out here are actually 6's who think they are 8's and believe they deserve a 9.....that shit aint realistic at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aed05 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Men are whores, plain and simple. The more options we have the bigger whores we become. I've never been to ATL but from what I've been told its the SF of the south. I live in the bay and these sluts take the cake.....and more cake, and more cake and...you get my gist. Anywho, I say all this to say, you don't go to big cities looking for love. You go for sex, so get you some boy pussy while your down there and take you're behind back to Detroit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downeaznboi Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 more options, more competition Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarrylf Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Men are whores, plain and simple. The more options we have the bigger whores we become. I've never been to ATL but from what I've been told its the SF of the south. I live in the bay and these sluts take the cake.....and more cake, and more cake and...you get my gist. Anywho, I say all this to say, you don't go to big cities looking for love. You go for sex, so get you some boy pussy while your down there and take you're behind back to Detroit. We're too damned alike lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 Soooooo.....big city life....I aint about that life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 more options, more competition to a degree I would agree, but the problem with that is dudes are not looking at the options like okay I have plenty to choose from, because there are so many options in big cities, no one is really choosing to settle down, I'm convinced someone could have crossed their "ideal" mate and passed on that person holding out for better. Its like Rocco said of NY, if you can't find a decent dude there that wants the same vision you do, then where the hell can you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aed05 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 We're too damned alike lol Great minds 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aed05 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Soooooo.....big city life....I aint about that life? You tell us! For all we know (and you too) you might like atlanta and never want to leave. You have to test "that life" to know whether or not your about it. Plus, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Detroit just as big as Atlanta? I've never been to the D, but I always assumed it was a major city. It certainly has the criminal statistics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illi Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 You tell us! For all we know (and you too) you might like atlanta and never want to leave. You have to test "that life" to know whether or not your about it. Plus, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Detroit just as big as Atlanta? I've never been to the D, but I always assumed it was a major city. It certainly has the criminal statistics. Detroit is definitely considered a big city, but isn't exactly seen as 'cultured' as others Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aed05 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Detroit is definitely considered a big city, but isn't exactly seen as 'cultured' as others Got it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 Detroit isn't some big gay mecca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 Detroit isn't as diverse like we got people like Atlanta but they broke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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