Aquaria Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 wow, that was powerful....I agree it's hard for Black women, their bear the burden of an imperfect society. I also believe it is ignorance within our Black community about mental illness, if you don't feel good about yourself, talking to someone can and does help give you perspective, unfortunately not much is understood about depression as it relates to genetics, or chemical imbalances. Someone could be depressed clinically and yet blame themselves for what may be a medical condition with a etiology. Whenever I get those thoughts, I've told myself to always stop and remember that there is always hope, no matter what I have gone thru, I have always come out the other end ...okay I believe there's a tipping point with what a person can cope with before they need help. I've been there but have always acted as my own shrink in the end which I think means I am fairly healthy all things considered Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarrylf Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I have no place in this discussion, cause I don't give a shit either way, It annoy's me when that's a guys entire personality, but I don't really care it's not worth making a huge case over to me. But carry on I'm enjoying both sides of this discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I believe there's a tipping point with what a person can cope with before they need help. I've been there but have always acted as my own shrink in the end which I think means I am fairly healthy all things considered If you can be your own shrink, you good yo some of us ...well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeJoe Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Well the black man/woman is the most imitated person on the planet. It's a fact not an opinion. This article did too much but the truth was spoken nonetheless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Wonder Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I understand that and I've heard that argued many times, but I brought up something I feel is crucial and unique to the gay experience, something that does not seem to be addressed at all, which is that while gay people have the ability to curtail mannerisms that may give them away, an "advantage" people of color don't have, people of color have the advantage of family and communities openly sharing the same experience, a support system from birth, without question, without doubt. You can face roadblocks and discrimination based on your skin color, but you're not in that alone. You are emboldened and inspired and taught by your family. The difference is that gay children do hide if they can, they bury themselves if they can, they drown with the weight of the oppression they face, even if they can "hide in plain sight." The difference is there is absolutely nobody to confide in, or trust with the secret you are desperately trying to keep. Now as the gay issue comes to the fore, younger generations will have it easier and easier as it becomes more accepted. But then that's how it is with race in this country too, and why I mentioned black civil rights had a head start. Gay youth, until they find their tribe later on, if they even accept they are gay at all and survive, are still silently suffering. I'm not saying black women have it easier, I'm saying it's ignorant to aggrandize the struggle of black women and dismiss that of a gay man, an experience which has nothing to do with skin color. White gay men face the same internal war and struggle as an any other shade in the lgbtq rainbow. And I agree with your last part about the language and mannerisms owing more if not exclusively to ballroom culture which is why this author sounded hostile and off base. Having a support system doesn't give Blacks an unfair advantage because we are all of the same creed. So we can not help each other's struggle - a boat full of sailors and no captain on board. Everyone has a support system whether if it's family or friends. We all have family and friends in the same boat with whom we can share experiences. Friends are often just as important as family, and sometimes more important for the times when water is a bit thicker than blood. Religion has hindered open-mindedness, and has people believing homosexuality is an abomination. So in many cases, gays, regardless of race, culture, etc do not have the family institution in which to confide. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kishi Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I'm enjoying both sides of this discussion. This! I agree with both sides and understand both sides, these discussions need to happen. I see where the author is coming from and every point Roc has made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laveaux Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I get what the author was trying to say, but its really not just white gays. It really has to do with hip hop infiltrating American culture where its cool and acceptable to be loud, overbearing and ignorant. Ive seen plenty of white women giving me an exaggerated Keisha from the hood, she even has the ass injections to match. You even have a young girl by the name of Honey Boo Boo that is profiting more off her version of the exaggerated black woman, so why not write an article about her?! Why single out another disenfranchised group of people who are actually invoking the strength of black women because they are not really comfortable in their skin...I don't get that. *in my Sinead O Connor voice* ^fight the real enemy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trackboy Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I get what the author was trying to say, but its really not just white gays. It really has to do with hip hop infiltrating American culture where its cool and acceptable to be loud, overbearing and ignorant. Ive seen plenty of white women giving me an exaggerated Keisha from the hood, she even has the ass injections to match. You even have a young girl by the name of Honey Boo Boo that is profiting more off her version of the exaggerated black woman, so why not write an article about her?! Why single out another disenfranchised group of people who are actually invoking the strength of black woman because they are not really comfortable in their skin...I don't get that. *in my Sinead O Connor voice* ^fight the real enemy Are you saying being loud, overbearing, and ignorant w/ ass shots is hip hop culture or hip hop cultures contribution to American society? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downeaznboi Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Are you saying being loud, overbearing, and ignorant w/ ass shots is hip hop culture or hip hop cultures contribution to American society? isn't that what the author is claiming as black women culture? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbreakable. Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Why create chaos in a peaceful world? are white gays doing black face? Is it that serious?As a white gay man yourself, I think you're misunderstanding her point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laveaux Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Are you saying being loud, overbearing, and ignorant w/ ass shots is hip hop culture or hip hop cultures contribution to American society? at times it seems like that is hip hop cultures contribution to American society. Its almost becoming okay for white males to refer to each other as the n-word, but that's a whole different discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeJoe Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 at times it seems like that is hip hop cultures contribution to American society. Its almost becoming okay for white males to refer to each other as the n-word, but that's a whole different discussion. oh latinos do it way more than white boys. "Ni**a" has now become a regular saying like "homie" and "homeboy" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 As a white gay man yourself, I think you're misunderstanding her point. Doesn't matter what you say... I mean.. Aren't you Latina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeJoe Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 As a white gay man yourself, I think you're misunderstanding her point. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbreakable. Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Doesn't matter what you say... I mean.. Aren't you Latina I'm Asian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I'm Asian That explains... Nevermind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbreakable. Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 That explains... Nevermind How smart I am? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 How smart I am? get out 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquaria Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Someone has written a rebuttal, published on ThoughtCatalogue.com Dear White Gays: Don’t Listen To Time Magazine H. Alan Scott Time Magazine recently published an opinion piece (either online or in the magazine, who can tell these days?) by Sierra Mannie, a senior at the University of Mississippi. The title read, “Dear White Gays: Stop Stealing Black Female Culture.” Clearly published to cause a reaction (which obviously it has from me), the piece goes on to describe how gay white men, because of inherent privilege in our society, should stop talking, acting, pretending, or remotely aligning ourselves with black women. This is assuming that every gay white man that talks, acts, pretends to be or aligns himself with just one black woman, because all black women are exactly the same, right? That was snark, I apologize. Allow me to explain. Mannie goes on to talk about the very true hardships and disparities black Americans face in this country (I’ve written about it before for Thought Catalog). She’s right, it is very hard to be a person of color in this country, and as a white man — a very gay white man — I have absolutely no true understanding of what that must be like. But what I do have is a very real understanding of generalizations, as all minorities do. Mannie writes about white males appreciation of Beyoncé (because only black women can like her), or a use of a certain vernacular that apparently belongs exclusively to black women (what about black gay men, can they use it?). She writes that black people don’t have access to everything white people do, and she’s right. That they often must worry about their physical safety, and she’s right. That there aren’t enough venues for black voices to be heard, she’s still right. I mean, gay white men are everywhere, and everyone loves them. They’ve never, ever been murdered for being gay, or denied housing, or medical care. They’ve never been arrested for being gay, or have had to have the Supreme Court rule that their sex was finally legal, definitely not in 2003. Nope, none of these things are true for gay white men, because they do rule the world (oops, did I just go all Beyoncé on her, my bad, I’ll stick with Madonna, or will I piss off Italians?! FUCK!). That was more snark, I can’t help myself. Seriously though, this isn’t a game of, “My minority is worse off than yours,” or, “more of my people have been killed than yours,” because that’s not the point. The point is that recognizing the things that she thinks belongs only to black women is the very thing that causes the separation and hate in our society. There’s a reason why this country is called a “melting pot,” because eventually, once you lose the bullshit separation and start appreciating what makes us all amazing, you start realizing that, “Wow, we’re not all that different after all.” A while back, Time did a cover story on transgendered people and the greater acceptance they’re receiving. This, that kind of change, is what we should be talking about. What does it mean to be a woman in 2014? What does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be gay, or straight? Must I, as a gay white man, only like and act in a certain way because I’m a gay white man? Must a person born into the wrong body live with that incorrect sex? Must that black woman pretend to like Beyonce when maybe, just maybe, she likes Katy Perry? It’s all bullshit. You can be whomever you want to be, and you shouldn’t be belittled, black or white, gay or straight, for who you are, gesticulations and all. It’s opinion pieces like Mannie’s that get published in reputable outlets only for the sake of a reaction, not an actual conversation. Yes, this piece is also reactionary, but in a very different sense. Just imagine if more people wrote of what made us similar, what brings us together, the internet would be a much happier place. Mannie ended her piece with, “Check your privilege. Try to strengthen the people around you.” Instead, I’ll end with…. Check your privilege. Try to recognize the good in everybody around you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquaria Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 How smart I am? Can I have some General Tso's chicken please Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 It’s all bullshit. You can be whomever you want to be, and you shouldn’t be belittled, black or white, gay or straight, for who you are, gesticulations and all. It’s opinion pieces like Mannie’s that get published in reputable outlets only for the sake of a reaction, not an actual conversation. Yes, this piece is also reactionary, but in a very different sense. Just imagine if more people wrote of what made us similar, what brings us together, the internet would be a much happier place. Mannie ended her piece with, “Check your privilege. Try to strengthen the people around you.” Instead, I’ll end with…. Check your privilege. Try to recognize the good in everybody around you. Well done!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbreakable. Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Can I have some General Tso's chicken please Sure hun. How you do like your sauce? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock & Roll Hall of Game Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Sure hun. How you do like your sauce? On his face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbreakable. Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 On his face Oooh, that's a specialty of mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trackboy Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 isn't that what the author is claiming as black women culture? No. at times it seems like that is hip hop cultures contribution to American society. Its almost becoming okay for white males to refer to each other as the n-word, but that's a whole different discussion. I think it's one thing to say that as hip-hop has gotten popular, more of mainstream America has adopted said vernacular -- such as the N word, which white people have been using a LOT longer than hip hop has existed. It's another thing to suggest that hip hop culture is "loud, overbearing, ignorant." oh latinos do it way more than white boys. "Ni**a" has now become a regular saying like "homie" and "homeboy" Yes they do. I was volunteering once and we took some kids white water rafting and one of the latino boys said something to me and added, "my n-word." I almost flipped him off that damn raft. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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